Monday, August 31, 2015

Incredible India


So... Blog fans... Are you ready to get a big spicy lump of BLOG shoved up your chapatti’s!? Well, keep your chapatti holes tiiiight... Coz we got some good blogging toniiight....

I last hit your dirty chapatti’s with a blog in Jodhpur (I hope you read it). From there we were on a voyage to Udaipur for our next mystical discovery. On route, we made sure to stop off at a Jain temple called Ranakpur. OBVIOUSLY blog fans... I mean, we wouldn’t miss that out would we...  It was fantabulous! Im telling ya, the Taj Mahal is gonna have some stiff competition from the temples, palaces, and forts we’ve seen on our way so far. I can’t really describe how it looked, but the carvings of the pillars and roofs are probably some of the most awesome examples of sculpting I’ve ever seen. We had an audio guide to go around with, and the Jain people are a pretty inspirational bunch too... I personally think we should all study their culture and beliefs, and learn from them :) The drive from Ranakpur onwards was really beautiful too. The temple was situated in the middle of a jungle, and the route ahead kind of reminded me of our drives in New Zealand. Just constant beauty. It was kind of what I always imagined Darjeeling to be like. And considering we are unable to reach Darjeeling this time around, it seemed like a nice little substitute for now... We arrived into the outskirts of Udaipur, and stopped off at some park. It was nice, nothing amazing, but God, we got some amazing stares from the locals there blog fans... I sat down on my own for a minute by the fountain... all of a sudden, a couple young guys came up to me and asked for a photo... Its ok, I was kinda expecting it... I am white after all... Then a bigger group came... I swear, after about 15mins of sitting there, I must of been in a pic with... several sons, the dad, the grandad, several cousins, several uncles, and friends.... and friends of friends... All  individually, and collectively... I literally did nothing to deserve this attention lol... I had a lil chat with them, they were nice... But then Cat came back to me, and I had an excuse to leave... But on our way out, some desperate, fat, middle-aged lady came rambling towards Cat grabbing her, and literally BEGGING for a photo with her... Cat usually refuses anyway, but in this case, I think she actually feared for her life lol... Got checked in to Udaipur and went for an evening stroll with Ashok, our driver... Saw the usual palaces, sightseeing things etc. But this time they were all lit up at night, and set on a really nice big lake. Udaipur was dubbed the “most romantic city in India”. But was probably more the “best place to splash a shit load of cash on your girlfriend” in India... Had lots of hotels and restaurants floating in the middle of the lake that you had to get a boat to go to, and spend more than the average Indian yearly salary on your one meal... Needless to say, we didn’t bother doing that... The next morning we entered the city palace, went to a haveli, wore a turban, and then went to a recommended hotel in the Lonely Planet. We werent staying there, but they had a really really nice rooftop, where you can see over the lake, palace, and buildings... best of all, you can chill major balls... You could also grab something to eat, and drink for a pretty good price. I got myself a lassie, curry, and then fell straight to sleep on all the pillows in the breeze:) Was majorly chillingballs.com blog fans – Didn’t wake up until I heard some MASSIVE cannon explosion from not too far from us. I thought we might of been at war with Pakistan for a minute... Turns out it was some sort of festival going on. Not sure what about, but Indians don’t need much of an excuse for a celebration. Seems to be a festival here every other day lol.

Next stop – Pushkar... A pilgrimage town, with hundreds of Hindu temples and markets, that surround a kind of hexagon shaped lake. We met up with Vicky, the guy that helped us book this trip. He was there showing around his Japanese girlfriend who came over to visit him... Don’t ask... After having dinner with them on our first night, we had a pretty slow and chilled one on our second day too. Wondered around the lake, through the town, ate falafels, talked with locals... Cat bought some Indian slippers, I got an Indian top, then we had dinner with our driver Ashok. We got street food as a snack before hand, but Cat wanted to go somewhere with beer. Pushkar is a very religious area, as I said, and alcohol is very hard to find... Cat found in the Lonely Planet (again) a place that apparently sold beer. We went there, and they served it for us in a tea pot lol. To keep it on the hush and hidden... Found out afterwards it cost more than Cats slippers and my top combined... Which still wasn’t LOADS of money in pounds, but, not good for India price :/

Cat went on a horse safari on our last morning in Pushkar... I stayed in, and had a lie in... Lovely Jubly... Then we were off to Jaipur! (Dont worry if youre getting lost with the city names). We got there in the early evening, as usual, and this time went for a walk by another lake and watched locals feeding the fish. Except here, they don’t break up little bite sized bits of bread for them... They throw in the whole bloody loaf like cavemen lol... How is that even fun?? We chilled indoors that night, got a take-away tandori chicken (which was the first time I ate non-veg in a long time) and beer with Ashok. Chilling, talking, discussing, in our room whilst watching TV... Just like a Saturday night take-away... After Ashok left, I put on Groundhog Day to watch... Cat fell asleep within 5 minutes, and I got an upset stomach... Which kinda felt like Groundhog Day to me :/
We had another big sightseeing day the next day. The city palace, temple of the winds... I wont bore you with details... One thing we saw that was pretty unique though, was the Jantar Mantar. Some sort of master wizard, mathematical time God must of made this place. It had all sorts of crazy sundials, zodiac clocks, and mind blowing madness. Things like the worlds biggest sundial, and a sundial that can tell the time to the exact SECOND. Its genius, love that kinda stuff...
From there, we were off to our last stop in Rajasthan, Ranthambore  National Park. Where you have the possibility of doing a safari, and seeing WILD TIGERS :o On our journey there we stopped off at a small village hut to get a cooked lunch. A lot of the locals came out to see the white skinned, pastey freaks that came to town lol. I was given some tinsel flowers to wrap around my wrist, as the Indians were celebrating “Sisters Day”... Like I said, any excuse... And I was also given some chubby baby boy, with his willy hanging out to hold... I was fine... I was just hoping that he didn’t get too excited and piss on my like a little puppy... We ate the food there, and arrived in Ranthambore. The hotel was really really nice, and brand new. But as it was Sisters Day, there was no one around to make us a drink or cook us anything. That usually isn’t a problem, as we always go out to eat and drink. But, like I was saying, its Sisters Day AND out of tourist season, so EVRYTHING was closed outside too... We understood that, no problem... But on top of having no food, we had on and off electricity, no wifi, and no water... Not no HOT water blog fans... But no WATER... We spoke to the tiger man, and were told it was best to take the safari early in the morning... So, guess what we saw on the evening before blog fans?... We saw a FORT! Haha.. AGAIN! :D On our way there, we managed to find a somewhere open in the outskirts to get beer and cachori’s (which are similar to samosas) Then we pulled over by a tent that was banging out mad music for the festival, got handfuls and handfuls of snacks for free from a very over enthusiastic man lol. Ashok drove on, eating and drinking his beer. We got to the fort, and the fort itself wasn’t too spectacular. Ashok was pretty drunk from the one beer he had (psst), and almost got attacked by monkeys he was feeding through his window. We then went to a temple for him to say a little blessing... Then he painted a bindy on my forehead, and held my hand whilst skipping lol... Seriously... Cat also managed to befriend a group of young girls who were there with their family. They kept turning to us and shouting “Hello! Bye Bye! Ta Ta!”... They loved us for some reason... Cat had to kiss a couple of the girls on the cheek before we said goodbye lol... Apparently that wasn’t enough though, as they asked us to do a dance... So I reluctantly did my shit impression of the running man... How embarrassing... We went back to our luxury hotel with no water to shower, or flush Cats poo... Woke up early the next day for the safari. To be honest blog fans... We were sceptical about this... When booking the tour, we worked out that we would arrive in Ranthambore on Aug 29-30th. But we read in the book that the park didn’t reopen until Sept 1st... We asked Vicky (the guy who booked it) and he said “don’t worry, ill sort something out”. Sounded dodge, but, whatever... Good for us... But then we heard the Lonely Planet was also wrong, and the park wouldn’t open until OCT 1st! Reason being, that the waters were too low now, and the chances of seeing tigers were slim to none. So, we thought we might of been ripped off a bit there. But we left for the safari expecting the worst, hoping for the best... We entered the jungle area, and we saw cows, pigs, buffalo, peacocks... I was like... “We can see all this on any street corner”... But then we got deeper in, and came across a lot of deer, and antelope... I thought “Well, tiger food is here... maybe we could see a tiger or leopard”... But we didn’t lol... Apparently there’s 28 tigers living there, and even more leopards... But we only saw antelope and deer... No cats... Except a Catherine Himer... How disappointing :p Haha... Slight shame, but to see the wild natural environment, and to go around in the Jurassic Park style Jeep was pretty cool to me. And we both left mildly satisfied...

ANNNDDD.... I think that’s where we’ll leave it for now blog fans!... We have actually just finished sightseeing in Agra. But I think ill start my next blog from there ;) You’re needing a reason to keep those shorts tight init ;) I CAN say we’ve said goodbye to our driver, Ashok now. He was a cool guy, and we’ll probably meet up with him again in Delhi. We’re grateful he got us this far alive. Seen SO many car crashes in India. Some of the suicidal shit ive seen on the roads, I can’t even explain!
Anyway... I’m writing this on a TRAIN now. AS WE SPEAK! You might already know that we’ve seen the glorious, magnificent, sexually sexual Taj Mahal today... But lately my last couple of photo albums on Facebook, have coincided with my blogs... So, we’ll begin there on our next blog. Until then, like I said, keep your shorts tiiiight, and ALL will be explained in our next... breaking... blog... NEEEWWWWSSS!!!!

ZOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPYLAND!!

WOOOO!!! xxxx

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