Saturday, April 18, 2015

Philippine Dream


Oh wow, blog fans....
Wow!... Wow!!... WOOOW!!!!........

I was away for so long, now look at me GO!! Not once, but TWICE... Don't have one, have TWO!... Two blogs in a matter of a few hundred hours... But you better get used to this... My Asian schedule is TIGHT. Just like your shorts should be! So strap in, and buckle up... Im bout to blow yo miiiiinnndddd......

The last time we spoke, I was leaving Australia... After 2 years in the country, and half a year at the school, big tings were gwarning... End of a massive era... But we didn't have too much time to dwell on it. As our last day, was a manic one...
So, last day in Australia, FOREVER.. Maybe... Or maybe just this year. But for dramatic effect, lets just say FOREVER! After staying up all night uploading photos, and doing *breaking blog news*, we went into town to say goodbye to a friend, and claim a free Nandos we'd been collecting stamps for since Sydney 2013... It was worth it... I had previously popped into a friends house to collect my sea shoes and flipflops i'd left there before. So it was a supposed to be a quick and productive trip into town... Cat took my bag of shoes, and I was like:

"Do you wanna put them in my backpack?"
"No"
"There's loads of space in my backpack though"
"No, I've got them"
".....You sure?"
".....yesss....."

(You might see where i'm going with this blog fans...)

So we had Nando's, and went to see Darwin waterfront on last time, and said bye to Laura... I was a bit anxious about getting the bus home, and needing a bit of extra time to pack, and say goodbye to everyone... But Cat was like "Its fine! Godddd...." I made sure she got her arse to the bus stop for the next due one though... We checked the timetable, "Yep, due in 4 minutes"... Say goodbye, blah blah blah, "Keep in contact, see you soon..." Then i turn to Cat...

"You have the bus tickets yeah?"
"Yeah"
"Your wallet and everything?"
"YES!"
"My bag of shoes?"
"..........................."
"MY BAG OF SHOES?"
"Ermm.... Sh*t.... HAHAHAHA!!"

I was not laughing blog fans! Not at ALL! While she sat there making puddles in her knickers, about how funny that was, I grabbed my bus ticket and SPRINTED about seven blocks to Nando's, out run the bus, LUCKILY found my shoes, came back out, saw bus whiz past me, carried on running, on and on and on.... and LUCKILY there was a big cue at the next bus stop... Cat was there on the bus still laughing... I couldn't even muster the the strength to say "F*** you". Sprinting in Darwin heat with a belly full of chicken, rice, chips and coffee, ain't no joke... We eventually got back, rush packed, rushed goodbyes, and got dropped off to the airport by Megan (our boss). Bish bash bosh, we're done with Australia... o-0
...bye.

After 2 flights, and one delay, we got to The Philippines! Got a late cab to our hostel and tried to go straight to sleep... I say "hostel" but it was more like a weird, half built house... A guy opened up the gate in his pajama's without really opening his eyes or saying hello. And some old woman was sleeping on the sofa. Straight away I was like "How the hell did this place get 91% on Hostelworld?" But whatever, I needed sleep... Woke up the next day, ready to start this Philippine adventure! But for some reason I wasn't in the greatest mood... Maybe it was the hostel, maybe it was the reality of leaving Australia, maybe I was just tired, or maybe it was the ants in the bedroom that were rummaging through by backpack like it was a jumble sale for faded t-shirts or something... Weren't the best start... We went into Cebu city to see the touristy things to do around there... And it wassss shit lol... IM NOT USUALLY THIS NEGATIVE BLOG FANS! But it was, pretty shit... I've been in dirty, run down cities before.. But there weren't even much to see or do around the city. We saw a market, fort, church, and looked up and down a road for a recommended shisha bar and restaurant... Neither of them existed anymore... Bollocks... We went back to the hostel area, and got some street food. We got like 4 spring rolls, 2 pork skewers, rice, and noodles... Think 2 drinks too... And it came up to $2!! Or like £1.25! It was a joookee! I swore they made a mistake... When i paid, I thought "shall i leave them a tip?", but i didnt... Not coz im tight blog fans! But in countries like these, its better to have little money! I swear! You need all these tiny pennies for buses, and things that people never have change for... Its like "Sorry, I really really need my 0.06 cents change". It'll be better just to tip them $20 for a $2 meal....Anyway, we knew we didn't wanna spend our whole Philippine time like this. I think I was naive, and I thought, come to Cebu, there'll be a nice beach somewhere, chill, it'll be easy to get around... But it wasn't that obvious... Luckily, things got better :)

Second day, no messing... We got up at 5am to get the coach down south and swim with WHALE SHARKS. It was AMAZING! We had a talk about not wearing sun cream, not doing this and that... They said "Don't go any closer than 4 meters to the sharks at anytime!" .... As soon as I jumped in... I was almost SWALLOWED BY ONE! There was NO WAY anyone could keep a distance from them! But yeah, that was an awesome experience... I never got the chance to cage dive with great whites in Aus, so this kinda made up for it... We also went to a place called Tumalog Falls which was sexy as hell... A much better day :D


We were planning on getting a flight to El Nido, or Boracay later in the week. But after the success of doing a day trip from our hostel to see the sharks, and coming back. I thought we could probably extend our stay another night or two and keep doing day trips. Plus the flights were costing a bomb, and friends had told me there's so many cool things to do around Cebu. I thought Mactan Island would be one of them... I was wrong blog fans lol... We got 2 jeepneys (which are little pimped out school buses) to a area nearer the island, so we could get a cab from there, and it'll be cheaper... The cab got lost, cost us a lot, and when we got out, all the beaches were private resorts... Motherf***ers... We eventually found a guy who would take us out on his boat to a "private beach" for cheaper. It was OK... But I was still a bit fed up.... I kinda wanted to come to the Philippines and to be an ignorant tourist. I wanted a package style holiday, no stress, just cocktails and beaches... We had been working for 8 or 9 months straight, and wanted to chill... But we weren't getting that... SO the next day, we got our arses outta Cebu...


Next stop was Malapascua Island, north of Cebu. Got a 4 hour coach, and a boat across, and straight away i was like "THIS is why we came to the Philippines!" Much nicer! It was a tiny island, no cars, or roads... Just paths and bikes.. We had been on islands like Caye Caulker and The Gili's before... But I actually think this had "Island living" down to a tee... It wasn't too touristy. Mostly locals lived there, and when they saw you, it wasn't like "Hey... Look at my shop" "Hey... My friend... Glasses?" "Hey... Where you from? London? Lovely Jubley London?" No... They just let you be... Infact you ended up feeling guilty when the kids would say hello, and you would naturally be like "What do they want from me?" The beaches were beautiful too. One beach there has to be up in my top 3 beaches i've ever seen. We had it to ourselves for most the afternoon... When the sunset, locals would be singing karaoke, cooking bbq chicken and fish... It was the tits....


Our next stop was going to be something a lil different... Bohol... Its an island just east to Cebu. We stayed in a cabin in a jungley kind of surrounding just off a river. The owners were really nice, cooked AMAZING food, and it was super chilled... On our first full day there, we hired a motorbike to go exploring. It was awesome... We drove out down the river, past the chickens, dogs, cats, pigs, goats, buffalos, and locals... Our first stop was the Chocolate Hills. Which is a area full of random hills that turn brown in the dry season, and it looks like Willy Wonkas back garden... We then went to a tarsier sanctuary to see the little, big eyed monkeys :) Then zipped lined across the Loboc river... Good day! We finished it but taking a boat up the river to see fireflies at night.. Romantic i know ;) I was actually more fascinated by the stars! You could see them so well there! Even saw 2 shooting stars! The fireflies were really pretty... They lit up the trees like it was Christmas... I sat there quietly, in awe as Cat occupied the rowers... Shes got her Filipino / Spanish / Australian / French / Scottish / Jamaican accent down to a tee now... I try to explain that they can understand you if you just speak normal English, but she doesn't listen... "Shall vii giit orff de borrt??" "She means, 'Shall we get off the boat'... Shes wierd..."


After wasting so much time in Cebu city on our first couple days, we had to move on quick. We had time for one more stop in Panglao Island. We got in the cab to leave Bohol, and there was an owl sitting on the dashboard... Yeah, an OWL... SITTING... ON THE DASHBOARD... ALIVE... OWL... I was like.... "that aint real..." But it bloody was! I thought it was a bobble head thing.. Was so small and cute looking :p I held him and became his mum for the one hour taxi ride... Was emotional... Anyway blog fans, Panglao was another sleepy island like Malapascua was. But a lot bigger and not so walkable... Luckily we found a really nice place that included FREE MOTORBIKE HIRE for all guests! It was an amazing deal! We drove to the beach, swam, ate, watched the sunset, and had a shisha... We finally got our shisha fix ;) The next day we were leaving... But we had time to take the bike out to another beach... OMG... This beach was the SHIZZZ!! I've never seen water like it! It was "The Philippine Dream". Best way to finish our stay there... We got tricycle cab to the ferry port. But just as we were about to be picked up, Cat and I got a bit of diarrhea :p It did seem to settle a bit whilst traveling, but as soon as I got back to Cebu, and had a beer... Shit it the fan... Literally.. (But not quite literally)... WHICH... BRINGS US UP TO NOW REALLY! :) Im writing this in Cebu now, bum hole still hot and all... This last hostel for the night is a bit of a party hostel... Ironic we get that on our last night before an early flight. A load of Filipino's are outside the room singing karaoke... Weird how they like that so much. The 3 weird things I've learnt about Filipino's is... They love karaoke, and singing ballads.... They love basketball even though they average a height of about 5'2... and they hate knives....Trust me, try to find a knife here... Swear if you bought a steak, they'd give you a fork and spoon to eat it with.... 


So, im getting up at 4am tomorrow... Its 2am now... One country down, EIGHT Asian countries to go... Next stop JAPPPANNNNN!!!!!!! OMGGGGG!!!!!! I've been waiting for this day since, forever and a bit.... Too excited for this... Keep your shorts tight for THAT blog!!


Guess thats it from me now then...

OH!! And *F.Y.I. Alert* blog fans!! (If that makes sense)... If you now Google search "robcat travel" or Youtube search it. You can see a load of assorted videos that i've been uploading for a while now... I've actually uploaded a few from The Philippines too... So you can see videos of us zipling, on those amazing beaches i was talking about, that OWL IN THE TAXI, and WHALE SHARRKKSSS!! :D

Ah, blogtasical mayhem has just hit new heights hasn't it....


Who knows whats next blog fans!?

You'll just have to keep those shorts TIGHT!!!!

See you in Japan? :D

Seeeeeee yaaaaaaaaaaa!!

Zooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooopa


x


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