Philippine Dream

Oh wow, blog fans....
Wow!... Wow!!... WOOOW!!!!........

I was away for so long, now look at me GO!! Not once, but TWICE... Don't have one, have TWO!... Two blogs in a matter of a few hundred hours... But you better get used to this... My Asian schedule is TIGHT. Just like your shorts should be! So strap in, and buckle up... Im bout to blow yo miiiiinnndddd......

The last time we spoke, I was leaving Australia... After 2 years in the country, and half a year at the school, big tings were gwarning... End of a massive era... But we didn't have too much time to dwell on it. As our last day, was a manic one...
So, last day in Australia, FOREVER.. Maybe... Or maybe just this year. But for dramatic effect, lets just say FOREVER! After staying up all night uploading photos, and doing *breaking blog news*, we went into town to say goodbye to a friend, and claim a free Nandos we'd been collecting stamps for since Sydney 2013... It was worth it... I had previously popped into a friends house to collect my sea shoes and flipflops i'd left there before. So it was a supposed to be a quick and productive trip into town... Cat took my bag of shoes, and I was like:

"Do you wanna put them in my backpack?"
"No"
"There's loads of space in my backpack though"
"No, I've got them"
".....You sure?"
".....yesss....."

(You might see where i'm going with this blog fans...)

So we had Nando's, and went to see Darwin waterfront on last time, and said bye to Laura... I was a bit anxious about getting the bus home, and needing a bit of extra time to pack, and say goodbye to everyone... But Cat was like "Its fine! Godddd...." I made sure she got her arse to the bus stop for the next due one though... We checked the timetable, "Yep, due in 4 minutes"... Say goodbye, blah blah blah, "Keep in contact, see you soon..." Then i turn to Cat...

"You have the bus tickets yeah?"
"Yeah"
"Your wallet and everything?"
"YES!"
"My bag of shoes?"
"..........................."
"MY BAG OF SHOES?"
"Ermm.... Sh*t.... HAHAHAHA!!"

I was not laughing blog fans! Not at ALL! While she sat there making puddles in her knickers, about how funny that was, I grabbed my bus ticket and SPRINTED about seven blocks to Nando's, out run the bus, LUCKILY found my shoes, came back out, saw bus whiz past me, carried on running, on and on and on.... and LUCKILY there was a big cue at the next bus stop... Cat was there on the bus still laughing... I couldn't even muster the the strength to say "F*** you". Sprinting in Darwin heat with a belly full of chicken, rice, chips and coffee, ain't no joke... We eventually got back, rush packed, rushed goodbyes, and got dropped off to the airport by Megan (our boss). Bish bash bosh, we're done with Australia... o-0
...bye.

After 2 flights, and one delay, we got to The Philippines! Got a late cab to our hostel and tried to go straight to sleep... I say "hostel" but it was more like a weird, half built house... A guy opened up the gate in his pajama's without really opening his eyes or saying hello. And some old woman was sleeping on the sofa. Straight away I was like "How the hell did this place get 91% on Hostelworld?" But whatever, I needed sleep... Woke up the next day, ready to start this Philippine adventure! But for some reason I wasn't in the greatest mood... Maybe it was the hostel, maybe it was the reality of leaving Australia, maybe I was just tired, or maybe it was the ants in the bedroom that were rummaging through by backpack like it was a jumble sale for faded t-shirts or something... Weren't the best start... We went into Cebu city to see the touristy things to do around there... And it wassss shit lol... IM NOT USUALLY THIS NEGATIVE BLOG FANS! But it was, pretty shit... I've been in dirty, run down cities before.. But there weren't even much to see or do around the city. We saw a market, fort, church, and looked up and down a road for a recommended shisha bar and restaurant... Neither of them existed anymore... Bollocks... We went back to the hostel area, and got some street food. We got like 4 spring rolls, 2 pork skewers, rice, and noodles... Think 2 drinks too... And it came up to $2!! Or like £1.25! It was a joookee! I swore they made a mistake... When i paid, I thought "shall i leave them a tip?", but i didnt... Not coz im tight blog fans! But in countries like these, its better to have little money! I swear! You need all these tiny pennies for buses, and things that people never have change for... Its like "Sorry, I really really need my 0.06 cents change". It'll be better just to tip them $20 for a $2 meal....Anyway, we knew we didn't wanna spend our whole Philippine time like this. I think I was naive, and I thought, come to Cebu, there'll be a nice beach somewhere, chill, it'll be easy to get around... But it wasn't that obvious... Luckily, things got better :)

Second day, no messing... We got up at 5am to get the coach down south and swim with WHALE SHARKS. It was AMAZING! We had a talk about not wearing sun cream, not doing this and that... They said "Don't go any closer than 4 meters to the sharks at anytime!" .... As soon as I jumped in... I was almost SWALLOWED BY ONE! There was NO WAY anyone could keep a distance from them! But yeah, that was an awesome experience... I never got the chance to cage dive with great whites in Aus, so this kinda made up for it... We also went to a place called Tumalog Falls which was sexy as hell... A much better day :D

We were planning on getting a flight to El Nido, or Boracay later in the week. But after the success of doing a day trip from our hostel to see the sharks, and coming back. I thought we could probably extend our stay another night or two and keep doing day trips. Plus the flights were costing a bomb, and friends had told me there's so many cool things to do around Cebu. I thought Mactan Island would be one of them... I was wrong blog fans lol... We got 2 jeepneys (which are little pimped out school buses) to a area nearer the island, so we could get a cab from there, and it'll be cheaper... The cab got lost, cost us a lot, and when we got out, all the beaches were private resorts... Motherf***ers... We eventually found a guy who would take us out on his boat to a "private beach" for cheaper. It was OK... But I was still a bit fed up.... I kinda wanted to come to the Philippines and to be an ignorant tourist. I wanted a package style holiday, no stress, just cocktails and beaches... We had been working for 8 or 9 months straight, and wanted to chill... But we weren't getting that... SO the next day, we got our arses outta Cebu...

Next stop was Malapascua Island, north of Cebu. Got a 4 hour coach, and a boat across, and straight away i was like "THIS is why we came to the Philippines!" Much nicer! It was a tiny island, no cars, or roads... Just paths and bikes.. We had been on islands like Caye Caulker and The Gili's before... But I actually think this had "Island living" down to a tee... It wasn't too touristy. Mostly locals lived there, and when they saw you, it wasn't like "Hey... Look at my shop" "Hey... My friend... Glasses?" "Hey... Where you from? London? Lovely Jubley London?" No... They just let you be... Infact you ended up feeling guilty when the kids would say hello, and you would naturally be like "What do they want from me?" The beaches were beautiful too. One beach there has to be up in my top 3 beaches i've ever seen. We had it to ourselves for most the afternoon... When the sunset, locals would be singing karaoke, cooking bbq chicken and fish... It was the tits....

Our next stop was going to be something a lil different... Bohol... Its an island just east to Cebu. We stayed in a cabin in a jungley kind of surrounding just off a river. The owners were really nice, cooked AMAZING food, and it was super chilled... On our first full day there, we hired a motorbike to go exploring. It was awesome... We drove out down the river, past the chickens, dogs, cats, pigs, goats, buffalos, and locals... Our first stop was the Chocolate Hills. Which is a area full of random hills that turn brown in the dry season, and it looks like Willy Wonkas back garden... We then went to a tarsier sanctuary to see the little, big eyed monkeys :) Then zipped lined across the Loboc river... Good day! We finished it but taking a boat up the river to see fireflies at night.. Romantic i know ;) I was actually more fascinated by the stars! You could see them so well there! Even saw 2 shooting stars! The fireflies were really pretty... They lit up the trees like it was Christmas... I sat there quietly, in awe as Cat occupied the rowers... Shes got her Filipino / Spanish / Australian / French / Scottish / Jamaican accent down to a tee now... I try to explain that they can understand you if you just speak normal English, but she doesn't listen... "Shall vii giit orff de borrt??" "She means, 'Shall we get off the boat'... Shes wierd..."

After wasting so much time in Cebu city on our first couple days, we had to move on quick. We had time for one more stop in Panglao Island. We got in the cab to leave Bohol, and there was an owl sitting on the dashboard... Yeah, an OWL... SITTING... ON THE DASHBOARD... ALIVE... OWL... I was like.... "that aint real..." But it bloody was! I thought it was a bobble head thing.. Was so small and cute looking :p I held him and became his mum for the one hour taxi ride... Was emotional... Anyway blog fans, Panglao was another sleepy island like Malapascua was. But a lot bigger and not so walkable... Luckily we found a really nice place that included FREE MOTORBIKE HIRE for all guests! It was an amazing deal! We drove to the beach, swam, ate, watched the sunset, and had a shisha... We finally got our shisha fix ;) The next day we were leaving... But we had time to take the bike out to another beach... OMG... This beach was the SHIZZZ!! I've never seen water like it! It was "The Philippine Dream". Best way to finish our stay there... We got tricycle cab to the ferry port. But just as we were about to be picked up, Cat and I got a bit of diarrhea :p It did seem to settle a bit whilst traveling, but as soon as I got back to Cebu, and had a beer... Shit it the fan... Literally.. (But not quite literally)... WHICH... BRINGS US UP TO NOW REALLY! :) Im writing this in Cebu now, bum hole still hot and all... This last hostel for the night is a bit of a party hostel... Ironic we get that on our last night before an early flight. A load of Filipino's are outside the room singing karaoke... Weird how they like that so much. The 3 weird things I've learnt about Filipino's is... They love karaoke, and singing ballads.... They love basketball even though they average a height of about 5'2... and they hate knives....Trust me, try to find a knife here... Swear if you bought a steak, they'd give you a fork and spoon to eat it with.... 

So, im getting up at 4am tomorrow... Its 2am now... One country down, EIGHT Asian countries to go... Next stop JAPPPANNNNN!!!!!!! OMGGGGG!!!!!! I've been waiting for this day since, forever and a bit.... Too excited for this... Keep your shorts tight for THAT blog!!

Guess thats it from me now then...
OH!! And *F.Y.I. Alert* blog fans!! (If that makes sense)... If you now Google search "robcat travel" or Youtube search it. You can see a load of assorted videos that i've been uploading for a while now... I've actually uploaded a few from The Philippines too... So you can see videos of us zipling, on those amazing beaches i was talking about, that OWL IN THE TAXI, and WHALE SHARRKKSSS!! :D

Ah, blogtasical mayhem has just hit new heights hasn't it....

Who knows whats next blog fans!?
You'll just have to keep those shorts TIGHT!!!!

See you in Japan? :D
Seeeeeee yaaaaaaaaaaa!!

Zooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooopa

x

Goodbye Australia x

Hi blog fans.... How you doing?
Good yeah?
You sure?
Wicked....

Because its only the last bloody Australian blog that i'll EVER EVER EVER NEVER EVER WRITE!!!! :-0 DUM DUM DAAAAAAAARRRRRR!!!!!! OoooooooWeeeeeeeOoooooo!!! LA DA DA DA DAAAARRRRRR!!!!! :-0 :-0 :-0

So..... Hope you're good anyway... Long time no see and all of that... Keep those shorts tiiiiiight! I will not be held responsible for any lost underwear during the reading of this passage... :)


So, there's a lot to cover here... Im pretty tired. Physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted... We're leaving... Finally... After coming to Oz in May 2013 like "Yeah, stopping over in 'Straya for a bit. Try to get a job for a few months, travel a bit, then move on to Asia..... Probably be here... a year or so?... Yeah, a year is a long time init... Yeah, crazy... Crazy shit blog fans..." Then, here we are, 23 months later.... And I'm writing this :p Isn't life a funny bugger! :)

I'll get in to the leaving school, and all that in a bit. First off, i'll start with the last trip we took, and just came back from.... Back in the new year, we decided to book a tour to Uluru and back before heading off to Asia. We thought it would be a good way to end a long stay in Australia. See the great Australian outback. Red rocks and kangaroo cocks... That's not what sold it for me... Just made that up :p So, we actually left Darwin on April 1st. We were treated to a goodbye meal by the school principle the evening before we left. To say thank you, and tell me how amazing I was at opening and locking doors, . He took us to the casino for Italian food. He's a really cool guy actually. Easy to get along with, and has had an interesting life. We could relate to him through stories of him leaving his village to seek education, and travel... Even though I didn't live in a village.. and im not really educated... But you know what I mean. After the meal, we got home, and after doing other things I needed to do, I started packing at 1:30am.. By the time my alarm went off, I slept 2 hours... I would later find that this was gonna be a reoccurring theme :/

Got on the bus in Darwin city with 20 or so other travellers, and headed south. We stopped off at a few waterholes on our first day. Waterfalls, creeks, sunburn... Typical Aussie shiz... The second day was a bit different though. Stopped off at the UFO capital of Australia, then ended up in the pub where the surviving girl from Wolfe Creek rang the police from to get saved. A lot of the backpackers were nervous. But we survived... Still got all my limbs, and my anal passage hasnt been sodomized... YET. So its alllll goooood ;) The earth was getting redder, the air was get less humid, and we finally made it to Alice Springs on the 2nd evening. From here the tour group was actually gonna get split up a bit, but we all went out for a meal and few drinks together that night. Few drinks, turned into a LOT of drinks, and my body was only treated to another 2 hour sleep, before catching the next bus towards the red centre, and Uluru. Coz I was so smashed, and didn't organize myself well before, I ran on to the bus late, in the same clothes as the night before, without brushing my teeth, and stinking like an alcoholic... The bus left our hostel, and started to pick up other guys joining our tour. Except this time the travellers were coming from nice posh hotels. 3 new girls came on. I was looking at them with my bloodshot eyes, and they kinda looked at me as if to say "GOSH, you're even smellier than my horsey!" :-0 But I just put my headphones in, and didn't really speak much that day... Unfortunately, it was never gonna be that easy... After a hour or two, we all heard a bang on the bus, and it turned out we popped a tire :/ Not good when youre in the middle of a hot desert. I thought we might have to do an Inbetweeners 2, and drink each others piss to stay alive. But we managed to roll into the petrol station before we resorted to that.. Shame, because I was getting a bit bored of drinking water... We didn't manage to fix the bus, so we had to wait for someone to drive a new one to us. Which is fine, because the desert is FULL of towns with buses and stuff. So it only took about 6 hours for it to get to where we were :) Luckily there was some emu's at the station, and I just fed them, and myself for all that time... We eventually got to our first camp site. We made a fire, put out sleeping bags, ate, and slept under the stars. It was really cool :) Got up the next morning early to head towards Kings Canyon. It was still dark... I remember this, because I brushed my teeth with Cats moisturizer... thinking it was toothpaste.... So my teeth were extremely silky that day ;) Kings Canyon was awesome. Walked around there for a good few hours, and then headed to the MAIN EVENT, Uluru... aka Ayers Rock :) .... A lot of people like to say "Urgh, Uluru, its just a rock!"... Which it is... But apart from being extremely iconic, its pretty fascinating once you know the history and the cultural relevance to the aboriginal people. What some people don't know, is that you can actually climb the rock, and probably get some really good views from up there. But after learning a bit more about the rock, and what it meant to the aboriginals, I was put off by it... We then heard that about 26% of visitors climb the rock. And if this number dropped to 20% or below, they would close it for good... We ALSO heard that if anyone DIED whilst on the rock, or falling off it (which has happened a few times) the aboriginal people do something called "sorry business". This basically means they self harm, because someone has passed away on their sacred land and home. Which is pretty sad to think about... After hearing all this, I decided to climb it anyway... HA, JOKING... I did NOT climb it! Calm DOWN blog fans! In our group of 26, only 2 people decided to. To be honest, if you decide to climb it, then youre really just taking away whats special about the place, and then it really is "just a big rock"... We walked around, took photos, looked in caves, and learnt about it... After that, we drove to a good view point, so we could see it at sunset :) And if that wasn't enough, a rainbow came out, and we had free champagne and crackers :p How emotional... We went back to camp, ate kangaroo and camel, and then slept out under the stars again. This time there happened to be an eclipse too... Not a bad day, ay.... The next day we all got up for a walk round Kata Tjuta (look it up), then got back to Alice Springs... Everyone on the tour were heading in different directions, and me and Cat were the only two that needed to get on a coach AGAIN for another 2 days back up to Darwin. (It was cheaper than flying). We went out again... Had a big roast, few drinks, swapped facebooks and all that... and got REALLY drunk again! Same bloody routine; 2 hours sleep, stinking, rushing, on the bus looking like a f***ing diseased rodent... This time, ALL the people on the bus were new. And this time ALL the people on the bus were girls! Seriously... There was one other guy, that kept himself to himself, me, and about 25 girls :/ I thought this could either be great or terrible... I was not in the mood to socialize too much, after meeting a load of cool people from the last tour, and starting from scratch with new people... Plus the hangover... Again... But it turned out all good :) All buses had a good crowd on them :)

SO! That brought us back right up to Darwin... We wanted to get back quick, as our friend Emily was having a birthday, and we wanted to see all our friends from the school for one more night out together... Got straight off the bus, to the liquor shop, dropped our bags at Emily's, and got on it :) It was our last proper night out in Australia, so I got 2 Passion Pops as standard :) We predrank at Emily's, went out, and then bumped into all the girls from the tour :) I was in a bit more of a sociable mood by then. But I mostly stayed with the school crew. Was a good night though :) As it always was with them....

And that brings me right up to now! Hungover... Again... Tradition :) Saw a few more guys from the school today. Got reunited with our boss Megan who we hadn't seen for a month or two... And unfortunately had to say a couple goodbyes :(

I wanted to write more about the school. The blog is long enough as it is, and its late, and I have a lot to do tomorrow :/ But this job has really been a God send for us... I keep telling people that I was kinda over living and working in Australia. After seeing friends and my parents in Bali, I kinda wanted to just go and travel more of Asia... And I would of, if I had the money. But I came to Darwin to work. Just hoping to get a job labouring, or something. Anything fulltime really... As long as I could save enough to travel again... After 2 months of struggling to get that, fate handed this job to us in the strangest way... Not only was it fulltime, but it paid well, and it was enjoyable. We had an awesome boss, everyone we worked with were the best workmates you could ask for. And it ended up being one of my best experiences ever... And it got better and better as it went along. We got to know a lot of teachers, and staff on personal levels. Kids got to know who we were. We'd always get a "Hi Cat, Hi Rob!" when we walked around. Social life was good. Had nothing to complain about.... We now have more money saved than what we were aiming for, and we can now travel Asia the way we always wanted to... :)

Leaving the school.., everyone here... our home.. and Australia all in one go. Kinda feels similar to when we left England. We feel happy and content here... And knowing that we cant come back, even if we wanted to, is the hard part :( We'll never forget our time here...

SO... That wasn't as light hearted as most blogs, was it blogs fans? :D On a positive note, i've been waiting to travel Asia for a LONG LONG time. So much more to come. And now every step we take, its a step closer to being back home :-0 To see all you ugly mugs again :)

Next stops: Philippines, Japan, China....
Keep your shorts TIIIIGHT for THEM!! :-0 OMG BLOG FANS!

Peace out Rabbits and Goodbye horses!!
Australia... its been emotional...
We're ouuuutttttttttt!

Zooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooopa!!!!

(Love you all)
xxxxxxxxxxx