Who hates farm work?
I hate farm work!
Is it truuueee??
Mmmm hmmmm
I do I do I do I doo-ooooo
So blog fans! Here comes my 4th and LAST blog diary from MORDOR aka Lakeland Australia. That means 4 months on this isolated patch. 1/3 of a year... That basically means if Lakeland was a COUNTRY, It would be the country ive stayed in LONGEST (except the rest of Australia). That means ive been living on this little farm patch longer than Brazil, longer than Mexico, Argentina, even New Zealand and USA! So smack my arse and call me Charles! Here comes the last 4 weeks of banana madness.THIS IS THE END.
WEEK 13:
Started this week a bit happier than usual. Must be coz I can finally see a light at the end of the tunnel! The weathers starting to change here now to dry season. Which ironically means its getting colder. Well, the mornings are a bit nippy, but thats about it. The day times are actually a bit hotter! Less clouds, less rain. We're bringing in ice lollies to eat on our 3rd break. Swear down, when i open that juicy wrapper, that farm sees a smile like its never seen before blog fans. The flies are out in force again... Molesting. Every time i need a pee in the paddocks about 8 land on my penis. But thats how these dirty lil buggers roll init blog fans... Also, wasps. The paddock we're in at the moment has a major wasp problem. Its quite funny though coz i get a couple stings a day, usually on my head or hands. But Cat averages about 6 a day, and its ALWAYS on her arse! Ha! IIts like a Looney Toons cartoon when the character runs away and the wasps follow him, stinging him up the arse as he screams and jumps up, grasping it. Classic Shmoseby. Wasp stings wernt Cats only problem this week though. She cut her finger open pretty bad on the knife. She always seems to wanna impress other workers by cutting as fast as she can like a maniac. I told her to chill out, but she didnt listen... Classic Shmoseby. The cut was quite deep. It pissed a lot of blood, and i thought it might need stitches. But its just been bandaged up for now. The farm was never gonna drop her to the local hospital, nearly 2hrs away were they. We'll see how that heals.
Cat did get some good news this week though. Her payslip seemed to be a lot higher than she expected. She went in to clean the shed on Easter monday for a few hours as the usual girl wasnt here - and she got paid $45 an hour for it! Crazy shizzle! I hear how Australians get paid well on holidays, but wasnt expecting that from a farm. Especially just to hose the floor. So that was good...
I got in a bit of an argument with the accommodation manager on Thursday. I came in from work and a couple German boys pointed out a notice saying that a toilet was left muddy by work boots and several people were getting fined as they were seen on camera with boots on. I was one of these people on the list, and it kinda pissed me off. When i saw him at shop time, he brought it up to me infront of everyone, and i think he was a bit surprised that i didnt bend over for him. I basically told him its bullshit, and if the camera saw me with boots on, it would also show i didnt go anywhere near the toilets. I also suggested that he probably saw who it was, but wanted to fine extra people just so he could pocket extra money. Then it got a bit heated and it ended up with him shouting at me to pack my bags and get out. I said "fine, ill need 24hrs notice thanks" and shut the door in his face... People seemed to think i was angry with him, but i just had to get my point across. People seem to assume that nice people can be pushed around. Im used to that. Im allowed to stand up for myself. It all ended with him apologizing to me saying he didnt like how i refused to pay infront of others, and everyone might jump on the bandwagon. But he brought it up publicly, and i thought i handled better than him. Plus im still here, not evicted, so... winning...
Cat had the opportunity to go horse riding on an other girls farm on Friday. So she stayed there. I came home, turned down drinking, turned down smoking, and just listened to music on my bed all night whilst on facebook and writing this :) Thats how im rolling... We might be able to get a lift to Mareeba this weekend. They have a Coles supermarket there, and possibly somewhere to buy a new camera. Only people who have lived in a place like this for 3 months can appreciate how exciting this is. Otherwise im just happy its another week down!... Braps
WEEK 14:
Hello week 14. What you saying? It started off pretty good actually. I got up early on Saturday morning to go down to the waterfalls with a load of the guys from the accommodation... Sounds a lot gayer than it actually was though blog fans. Was a hot day, so why not go and frolic in the waters? In the evening i went to the pub with Cat and a couple others to have a few quiet drinks. Had half a bottle of red, then half a bottle of white. Then i helped unload a few crates of beer to get a free drink... i chose wine - again. Dunno why im drinking so much wine. I dont really like it... Anyway, we did manage to get a lift to Mareeba on Sunday. Oh my God it was good to get out! They had a Coles, Reject Shop, Subway, Tarrjaayyyy (aka Target). Never have i been so happy to wonder round shops. We got enough bits to hopefully see us through the rest of our stay here. I think that goon from a few weeks ago has still got an effect on me, as i found myself in the soup isle for a good 10mins... Got a good handful of soups lol. Coming back in the car we got to see the sun setting over the miles and miles of trees and hills towards Lakeland. Made me think this place wouldnt be so bad if we wernt trapped here with no car. Made Cats idea of buying a car seem SLIGHTLY better. But still wrong. Cats always wrong... Never listen to Cat...
Work continued from where it left off last week. I saw a MASSIVE wasp nest in one of the trees. I got my phone out and tried to stick my hand close to it to take a close up photo... And got stung pretty bad. But i got the photo so its allll gooood. Lots of Tree Frogs. They love me - I love them. I save their lives on a daily basis coz we bros like dat... Cats finger seems to of healed pretty well. Shes still nuts with that knife though. She was talking to someone and waving the knife around, and almost cut my Johnson off. She scratched my pubic hair region with a razor sharp knife. 2 inches lower i would of been Roberta Gurney. No worries though blog fans, Mr Johnson lives on.
Theres a load of contractors brought in to help cut down one of the paddocks this week. We realised one of the guys was a guy we knew from Tully when we first tried to get farm work there. He was also struggling to find work and running out of time on his visa back then. So its nice to see we wernt the only ones to get lucky.
Talking about getting lucky...(with visas)... CAT has her 2nd year Aus visa granted! Yayyy... She filled in the forms online last weekend and she got a pretty swift response and acceptance. That just leaves me... She also filled in my form for me, but im being "investigated"! WTF... Would happen to me wouldnt it. Apparently 1 in 6 visas get investigated, which means i have to prove ive been working on a farm for over 3 months by scanning bank statements, and work forms and loads of other shit basically. Looonngggg... Hopefully it'll be sorted by next week.
Finished the working week with one session on the kerosene gun... Looooonnnnggg!!....
WEEK 15:
After that long arse session kerosening. We got a lift straight from work, to a work mates house. She invited us a while back and we thought we'd stay over this friday. Shes a German girl called Corina who has been working for accommodation at this place, and she said it was really nice... Even though she did mention the previous owner hanging himself there... When we got there we were greeted by 4 crazy hyper, but friendly dogs, and the house was really really nice! It was a proper hippy shack with a outdoor shower and drop toilet. Half the house was just open planned with no walls. The kitchen was technically outside with a shelter over it. I loved it there though. Was so chilled out and nice to be around dogs that reminded me of my own. We walked down to the end of the garden, past all the trees and vegetable patches, and came to a nice clean river. The water is actually drinkable, and thats what they use in the house. Proper super hippy, trust... But we had a nice long swim down the river. Just the 3 of us and one of the dogs. He did well following us all the way. Was so nice. Felt proper backpackery... We had a few drinks and vegetarian pizza. Then had a lil casual smoke and chatted whilst Corinas friend played her guitar and sang... So super hippy. We then fell asleep on the couch with one of the dogs.
In the morning Corina gave us a lift to Cooktown to see the markets there... I did a poo at IGA, as i was scared to use the drop toilet at night. She then dropped us home. After that Cat was invited to go horse riding again with her other friend, and to go for a sea food bbq. I was technically invited too, but i was happy to chill out back at our place.
On Sunday i played football with the other guys here then stayed up late to watch the final games of the premiership. So on Monday i was pretty tired and moody all day :) Tuesday was a bit better. Felt good as it was our ONE YEAR IN AUS ANNIVERSARY! Didnt do anything to celebrate it, but still, one year mayn... Theres been a game changer at work as well. Every Thursday the farm cooks us a BBQ lunch! :) Eggs, bacon, and sausage sandwiches. Pretty nice of them. Shame it starts 3 weeks before we go. Boo... Ive been waking up in the night nearly every night. My hand seizes up in claw and aches from so much clutching of the knife. Its like the claw from Liar Liar has possessed it. The claaawww!! Its bit strange...
WEEK 16:
Ok blogs fans... Its the last bloody week! You and I both thought id be ECSTATIC about this. But the blogs about to change for the more serious... Basically at the end of week 15, mine and Cats relationship came under some problems... I mentioned in the last blog that things were getting rocky. But now theyre Balboa Rocky. Theyre more rocky than a horror show... Anyway. This might come as a bit of a shocker. But Cat and I agreed that we need space, and to take time away from each other. So... We decided she should leave the farm early, and leave me here to complete this last week alone. This aint the place to deal with relationship issues, and we need time apart. The plan for the moment is just to have a break for this week, and we'll meet up in Cairns after im done here to do the east coast as planned. Theres no anger between us, and im sure we're able to enjoy each others company next month...
Went into work with a fresh prospective. Breathing in the fresh country air. Looked at the trees that i weeded in my first couple weeks (when the big boss had a go at me). They were huge trees with bananas now. When i weeded them over 3 months ago they were waist height! My babies have grown up so fast :')
I got to do some different jobs during the week. Did "spading" (digging out roots) "de-leafing" (cutting off leaves) then i got to teach a new guy from Belgium how to do kerosening and cutting. Hes the guy taking over from me, poor bastard. Theres not much to teach. "Cut! Cut! Cut! Squirt! Squirt! Squirt!" The "Thats what she said" jokes came rushing right back into action. Was busy during the week, getting ready for the big escape. Thursday was my penultimate day. Felt a bit bitter sweet as i was leaving here alone. Wasnt how i envisioned it. As Alexander Supertramp said "Happiness is only real when shared". Luckily, that night i had a few beers and spliffs with some of the guys here. Had a good time. Got the giggles coz one of the Taiwanese boys cooked garlic bread and meat pie every morning for breakfast lol. Like thats even a breakfast, and they go together! After that i got the munchies and made garlic bread myself. I presented it to everyone on a serving tray like it was a roast beef with gravy, potatoes, and veg. In reality it was just a dried up peice of bread. But try telling that to a salivating stoner. I shared it out, so it didnt really fill me up. 10mins later - i made... a meat pie! Haha... Went together pretty well actually :)
Went in for my FINAL HALF DAY!!.. Still feeling pretty stoned. Had to be careful how i swung that knife. Finished off with cutting then a last 20mins of kerosening. Fitting finish really...
So!... THIS IS IT! Like Micheal Jackson! Time to travel down the yellow brick road of the east coast. Cat would have to be Dorothy. Not sure about me. Not really in the need of a brain, heart or courage... Maybe ill be a new character. Like a pigeon... Looking for a soul... As mines been absolutely anally SODOMIZED here... A souless pigeon with no personality lol... best.
As i write this im sitting on the over-priced bus. I was planning to get a lift, then i planned to hitch hike, then... i saw the bus... So, $64 for peace of mind i guess. Im looking out of the window, at the rolling hills and green for miles. Mixed emotions. Its like that last day of school when everyone gets a bit upset... But i thought that was bullshit. Everyone only remembers the good things. But high school sucked! And i still think it sucked arse! And even though i had some decent times in Lakeland, and i might of been a bit negative... Most of Lakeland sucked arse. Most of it was bullshit... No, Lakeland is THEE bullshit!
So thank you Lakeland...
I mean f*** you Lakeland
Here comes traveling
Here comes reality
Here comes life
Here comes happiness
Here comes the EAST COAST!
IM GHOSSSTTT!!!
Zooooooooooiiiiiiii uponyaface!! xxx
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