The Storm Before The Calm

Good morning Blog Fans!!

It's your man with a plan! needing a hand to earn 100grand! Our Australia experience is moving at a 100mph, so I'm gonna keep you on your toes with our TANTALISING travels.

When we last spoke we were coming to the end of our time with the Himer fam. It came and went so fast, then in a puff of smoke me and Cat were standing there on our own as if they were never here. Cat was understandably a bit upset, but she got over it a lot faster than I thought. She probably didnt get over leaving The York Apartments so quickly though. We checked in to Kings Cross Backpackers and moved into a shit hole of a room. It stank of B.O. and damp towels, and there was clothes everywhah. We went from having our own comfortable room, to sleeping in the fetal position with our backpacks at the bottom of our beds as there was no room on the floor to put them.

Work started to pick up at this point though (kinda). Cat confirmed a full time position at the Scary Canary bar after doing part-time shifts whilst her parents were here. And I got 2 coaching jobs. After being in each others faces for several months, it was nice to go to work and text Cat from work. Sometimes it's just nice to text "what shall we do tonight?" "see you later!" "blah blah blah".
Out of my 2 coaching jobs I really enjoy one, and not so much the other. One is with a Hungarian guy Ferenc (same name as Cats dad - destiny) and it is really fun. It's with younger kids with less skills, but they cheer me up every morning. It's for 3 hrs a morning fri-sun, which is better than the other one, which is just an hour at a time. So after the nuisance of getting ready, paying for the train etc, it's barely worth it..... I've noticed I say "etc" a lot by the way :/ - Also, the other training with Kickeroos have older kids, and most of them are little shits! It makes me think, if I ever have kids, I wont bother with them much until they can walk and talk. Then when they get to 7 or 8, I'll adopt or send them to boarding school or something, because thats the know it all little shit age. The group with Ferenc are a lot cuter. They've said things to me like:
"Are you a boy or a girl?"
"I like you, but not my daddy"
"Are you from Scotland?"
It makes me laugh.

After a week in that damp smelly room, we moved to Elephant Backpackers to meet Nancy and Rob. Apparently it was supposed to be a even worse hostel than before. But it wasn't. We had a nicer dorm with more space, cheaper and we were staying with quieter people. I've noticed how old I am since been here. Theres a lot of British and Irish teenagers who have come here with mummy and daddy's money to buy pills and do coke. Australia has a massive drug problem. They have needle disposals in most toilets.
Anyway, we met up with friends from home for the 3rd time since traveling. Chris and Riaz being the first 2 in Brazil, then the Himers being the 2nd. Had 2 nights out with Nancy, Rob and their mates, then sat in and played ring of fire on the 3rd. Nancy got smashed and puked :) I also sent her to the toilet that was "out of order" and clogged with 5 tons of tissue and 20 tons of diarrhea. Her screams made me laugh from the cubical next door lol. Also got to do a few touristy things during the days here and there too of course. After Nancy left, me and Cat decided we wanted to stay in this hostel for as long as it takes us to find our own place with the souf crew. Moving around can be a pain in the arse. We did have to move room once as we forgot to extend our stay in advance. We moved to the "party floor" in a 8 bed dorm. OMG. everything that you expect could happen on the party floor did. I went bed early as I had to wake up for work at 7am and I got about....20mins sleep.....all night. By the end of it the rest of the dorm were a bit wary of me, as they knew I was seconds away from cutting their heads off with rusty scissors. They left the doors open, came in and out talking loud and shouting, drinking and popping goon bags, then a guy climbed on MY BED to shut a window. Needless to say I threw some naughty words at him. Some guy who was obviously speaking to Cat saw me sit up from bed to see what the hell was going on. He said "OMG you went Hatch End? I went Nower Hill!" :D I said "I dont give a shit", tuned my back, tried to sleep. One drug addict decided to turn the lights on and pack all his stuff up at 4am to move hostels. I asked him if he was stupid, but he was too out of it to answer. I almost got to sleep after that, but then I was kept up my loud sex noises and bed creaking. After about half an hour of it I bent over the side of the bunk and said "Oi! Are you 2 gonna be doing this tomorrow?" "....us? ....why?" "coz I need some f*#ing sleep!" it went quiet after that, but it was like 6:15am by then anyway.

We had some other reunions during that week. We met up with Felicity from our South America tour. Shes gonna be our new Aussie aunty :) She bought us a cruise experience as a "welcome to oz present". We also met Rachel and Michelle, 2 Aussie girls we met in a hostel in Rio. They're also really nice, and we'll probably see the 3 of them a lot whilst we're here.

Apart from that we've just been busy with work and job hunting. I had a interview for a senior receptionist at a gym, and I've applied for a lot of print jobs. But I've been told they're all looking for residents that will he here long term to progress. The job search people said I'm being too picky, but all I've said is I don't wanna stand on a street corner doing sales, and im not sure about bar work yet. Cats been quite lucky to be honest. She works 10:30-7:30 mon-fri. It's not exactly a progression in here career, but we're here in Oz to fund our fun and travel I guess. She gets good perks like 20% off all food and drink, free drinks from tap and a bottle of wine each week :) So Fridays our wine and steak night. Cost like $16 for 2 of us. Bargain. Worth it. I've been doing more office removal work, which I'm happy to do. Also just started my film and tv extras profiles ;) The guy from there has offered me work too, doing recruiting and even to be a face on a dating website :s We'll see how that goes.

Apart from that, it's all onwards and upwards. Today is the day we have our FIRST SOUF REUNION!!! Shona "The Show" Green!! The souf family will be assembled soon, and we can flat hunt. Still got other possible reunions in the pipe-line. Lots of fun to be had! Because FUN...Is number ONE!

Keep your shorts tight for angel delight! My shorts will def be getting tighter these next couple of weeks. (Even though I'm eating like Victoria Beckham to save money at the moment).

Speak soon blogaholics!
Zooooooooooooooooooop!
x

Australia: A Strange Into

G'Day blog fans!!

Its everyones favourite day of the week!
Blog update from down under!

Its been a manic first 2 weeks. Here's the low-down.....

So we arrived in Sydney from Christchurch and checked into Base Hostel in the centre of the city. It had a pretty crappy reputation on hostelworld etc, but like most things, it isnt as bad as everyone made out. Most people there were British or Irish, and there was a major divide between the people looking for work, and the people looking to get shit faced drunk every night... As tempting as it was, we needed cash, and we job hunted HARD from the get go.

In the first couple of days or so, our job starter pack helped us out a lot. We sorted bank cards, mobile phone and number, medicare... Also joined the library and got our CVs done. The job search guy was really helpful. He helped us get a office removals job pretty much straight away. Its not too bad. Pays $21 an hour. So cant complain for now. We had a couple nights out on our 1st week. Got on the GOOOON! Had the worst headache for FOUR DAYS. I slept on a bunk above this gay guy from England. He had to get up early every morning for work. But his alarm was "BUGABOO" from Destinys Child! lol! Was funny enough not to care about being woken up at 6am every day.

We didnt really have a lot of time or money to do much more in the 1st week. Didnt even see the Opera House, even though it was like a 15min walk away! Walked to the harbour and saw the monorail fly across my head. That was a nice surprise coz I didnt even know Sydney had a monorail. We found a few cheap places to eat and drink. It is expensive here, but some things aint so bad. You can get a steak and chips for $10 in a lot of places. But then, you could go into a corner shop for a KitKat and a can of Coke.... And come out with a KitKat and a can of anal rape. So beware.

After one week of hard work form me and Cat, her parents arived for their 10 day visit. PHEW! Was nice to check into the apartments. Felt like LUXURY! Away from hostel life for a while. Thank you Ambika for hooking us up :) Was nice to see the family face to face too. Walk around and see all the sights. The conversation between me and Cat has mostly come to "We need money - We need work - We need a night out." So to speak to the Himers about what we've done and how home is etc was a nice, needed change. Everything we did was good timing with them. Vivid Festival had just kicked-off, which meant The Opera House, Sydney Harbour Bridge, and all the surrounding buildings were lit up at night with funky lights and sounds. So it made the occasion even more special. The weather was good for the most of it. Had a few rainy moments, but when we visited the places that mattered like The Blue Mountains, The Sky Tower, Wildlife Zoo, Manly and Bondi Beach etc, we had good weather. Its supposed to be their winter here now. PAH! Me and Vicky got to pat a kangaroo in the zoo. Very Australian thing to do :p We also had a belated birthday party for Cats dad. We reserved a restaurant on the harbour for a saturday evening. Ferenc didnt know that they are having fireworks on the harbour every saturday night at 8:30pm, so it was a great surprise. We had perfect views of the whole thing. Plus, I ordered ribs, and it was the biggest Man vs Food meal in the history of life!! :o

Its The Himers last day here tomorrow. Cats upset that they're leaving, which is understandable. Dont know if its easier to not see your family for so long - or to see them, then have them leave. Its a weird time for us at the moment. All that sight seeing we've done in the city will become a familiar sight of our everyday life for a while. This is a marathon now, not a sprint. Nothing's set in stone, but we might be here in the city until after the new years. Its strange because we're in a city so familar to home, yet we have no job, and no perminant place to live. So feeling kinda lost at the moment. Im gonna try something different whilst im here. I dont know what career is right for me yet. Im a lost soul :( Hopefully I can get something soon and feel normal by the time our friends visit us. Just gotta remember to have fun. Because having fun, is number ONE!!

After this its back to life, back to reality....

We're seeing a lot more friends in the next month or so. If you are one of them, you'll be happy to know you are penned into the diary ;) If everyone else I like could visit at some point I would appreciate it :)

Til then.... Keep em tight.......
(ps. Australians LOVE batty riders. Im really surprised their balls dont fall below their shorts)
Keep them tighter than Australian batty riders on laudry dayyyy! :D
And Ill see you sooooon!!

Byeeeeeee!!!

Middle Earth (New Zealand)

Blog the builder, CAN HE FIX IT!
Blog the builder, YES HE CAN!! :D

Sorry about that blog fans. I'm back again!
Back to civilization and writing to you loyalists. Come to the end of our Middle Earth tour. It really is Middle Earth from Lord Of The Rings. Jheez! I've heard of a food orgasm, I've heard of a sex orgasm, but have you ever had a scenic orgasm!? Well, we'll see blog fans.... Got a lot of exciting and not so exciting things to report. So let's get to it! :D

So, we arrived in Auckland as our first stop since leaving Santiago. Straight away, culture shock! People were talking English, we spoke to the cabbie, we could read the roads signs, amazing. That feeling changed a bit once we unpacked and explored the city though. Basically because Aucklands a bit like one big massive china town! WTF! How many sushi places can you have? Bit of a mind f*ck to be honest. But not in a bad way. I found a barber that was doing free haircuts. Students cut my hair and I just tip them. Was my first experience of speaking to a local who didn't have a Asian accent. They speak funny. It's very similar to English. They use words that Americans don't, that seem to be very English. Like "bloody tossers!" :p Sometimes the convos can get a bit confusing. They seem to say "liift" instead of "left" and they end all sentences with "ey". A typical conversation could go "Excuse me, where's the bank?" (in Australian style accent) "Well, you go straight past the peeeta place (pita), then you turn liift bru (bro)". "....Errm yeah, I couldn't find it." "True? You must be blind ey." They say "true?" instead of "isit?" And "ey" instead of "init" .....it's phenomenal :-|

ANYWAY, Auckland was cool. We went to a museum and our FIRST NANDOS IN HALF A YEAR! Tasted like a sexy lesbian orgy in my mouth. Could of been my most satisfying nandos EVER! We picked up our campervan 2 days later and hit the road. Was pretty much a budget job, nothing fancy about it. We stopped off at our 1st supermarket and stocked up on all our food. Also felt the need to buy all 3 Lord Of The Rings films to watch at night :) Was very exciting. We first headed south and to the Coromandel area which was a nice hilly area with a lot of sea views.....I say "nice hilly area" but driving up hill in our camper got a bit of a chore as I had to do a lot of uphill driving in gear 2 at 10mph :/ Bit stressful. Guzzled the petrol and made Cat nervous and pick her fingers, but the scenes made it worth it. EVERYWHERE is a photo moment. Some times I drove whilst taking a picture. I put our life on the line, but it's better than trusting Cat with a camera... We eventually found our first camper spot on a beach, plugged in the electricity, cooked, and watched load of the rings :D

After that we continued south. I won't bore you with everything. People we spoke to about New Zealand told us to get to the south island asap as there's a lot more to see there. And now, on my last day here I can see that. One of my favourite days in New Zealdand was at our next stop, Hobbiton!! Was sooo cool. Got to see Bag End and the lake, sheep, pub and everything in the film. Still looks like the movie did. SO much detail went into it. Was best. We also stopped at Rotorua which is famous for its geysers and hot pools. The whole town smelt like egg, but I really liked it. There was smoke coming out of holes and drains everywhere. We went to a park to see a famous geysers and also got to see my first ever kiwi! (bird kiwi that is). Other than that we fast tracked the north island a bit, and got to Wellington. It's the capital of NZ but still a very small city. We visited Weta Caves which is where they made all the costumes, weapons, masks etc for LOTR. Also they've worked on loads of other movies like District 9, the new King Kong etc. Obviously LOTR is the main attraction. I didn't like Wellington too much to be honest. MAINLY because of parking. It's really expensive and usually all full. So you're driving around in a big chunky campervan in a city getting road rage. The best part was when Cat spotted a car park for cheap, so I enthusiastically drove into it. LITERALLY IN TO IT. Forgot a campervan is taller than most car park entrances... Kinda just sat there looking at Cat while parts of our roof rained on top of our bonnet. FML! Just had to tape up the hole with plastic bags and move on....

We decided to name the campervan Chip Douglas BEFORE that. It did have loads of chips and dents all over it. Chip Douglas is a character from the movie Cable Guy who is a homosexual stalker dude played by Jim Carey. I thought this suited the van well :p Except "Massive Hole Douglas" might of suited it better now...

From Wellington we got the ferry across to the south island. Was expensive (as everything is) but I actually consider that one of my favourite moments too. Approaching the south island was beautiful. Could see the "sounds" and all the grassy green hills and mountains as you approached. Loads of trees and sheep. SO many sheep and cows in NZ. I does make me wonder why the Welsh are named sheep shaggers and not them....
In the south Island our first stop was Able Tasman. By now we had become professional pikeys. We knew how everything on the camper worked. I am probably the best stir fry and omelette chef in the world now, and Cat the best dish washer lol. The westcoast of the south island was amazing! Saw a lot. Visited the glaciers and "blowholes." Trust me, they use dodgy names for things in New Zealand. Shags and Blowholes everywhere lol. Saw one Asain guy at the blowhole that had FOUR SLR cameras around his neck for photos. I thought, dont Japanese men usually only have 3?? :p At the end of the westcoast we went to Queenstown. DEF my favorite town in NZ. It was a really small town on a big lake. But it had LOADS of really good restaurants and bars all in a small walking distance. They do a lot of extreme sport trips from there too, but unfortunately we couldn't afford it this time round. Went to Fergburger. The world famous burger place. Got a chief wiggum. OMG....jizzzzz!

We did manage to pay for a Milford Sound cruise. Its one of the "to do" things in NZ. Def worth it. But I would say to most people on a budget that it isnt that much better than the island crossing to be honest. But atleast when people ask "did you do Milford Sound?" I dont have to sound lame and cheap by telling them no lol.

Coming back up the eastcoast towards Christchurch was really nice. The grass really is greener on the other side. Grass is greener, lakes are bluer, snow is whiter. It's def middle earth. We went to Cadbury world and learnt about chocolate making (and ate loads). Visited Dunedin which is apparently the furthest city from London in the world. The weather was crap and I def felt like I was nearer to home. I ran up the "steepest street in the world" there too. FML. I wanted to see the Otago Peninsula, which is a place where you can walk and see wild penguins and sea lions. But the weather was terrible again so we didn't bother. We tried to alternate our campsite from powered to non-powered ones to save money. But when weather was cold we needed powered sites for the heaters. Some places we stayed in where REALLY remote, and I slept with a kitchen knife next to me some nights lol.

Campervans give you messed up dreams, seriously...just a spoiler alert there for ya ;)

Slightly more north of Otago Peninsula we did a small walk (which we did most days), but we actually DID get to see wild penguins and sea lions after all! Was on a little grassy island by a lighthouse, and we were the only ones there. Wasnt even a popular tourist spot... Some rabbits were running around and we came REALLY close to yellow eyed penguins and sea lions sunbathing. They didnt even mind we were there! Def a NZ highlight... We saw the 'elephant rocks" which is where they filmed Aslans Kingdom in the Nania movie. We rented the film on a rainy day in Akaroa. Shame the movie sucks balls ey. Akaroa was a pretty french style town. Looks amazing from birdseye view. Luckily we had good weather on the day we left so we got to see it from the hills we were exiting on to take photos :) Eventually got to Christchurch and handed in Chip Douglas. Were a bit scared of the price we had to pay for the roof damage. Wasn't very confident. But I was past caring. The guy who worked for the camper company took me to the repair guy. He comes back after working out a quote: "Take a guess mate." "Errm $700?" "BUUURR gonna haveta squeeze your bum cheeks more than that!" it cost me $1230. Tossers lol. On our last few days here on Middle Earth we just wondered around Christchurch, went for a comedy night to cheer up our campervan blues lol. Had a nandos and looked at all the destroyed buildings and roads from their 2011 earthquake. The whole city is like a weird outdoor museum. Weird. The locals are really friendly. Everyone says "Hope we enjoyed New Zealand!" :D "YES WE DID!"

On our way to Oz now! The next chapter! Looking forward to earning money. To be quite honest, I'm looking forward to getting my first pay check and getting absoultly smashhhhedddd! :) I NEED A DRINK!! Looking forward to seeing Shona, Mark and Natalie. Looking forward to BBQs, looking forward to beaches, looking forward to settling down in one area, and living a normal-ish life.

Also looking forward to being more accessible for YOU blog fans! Hopefully will be able to blog, upload photos, and skype a lot more now! Maybe I'll even get a MOBILE PHONE! :o

keep it sexy
because I'm bringing sexy back!

keep your shorts tight.... and bulginggg! ;)

Speak soooooon!!
xxx

Goodbye South America Reviews

Oh my God I can't believe it, I've never been this far away from home! :o

Welcome back blog buffs!
1293 Blog views in, and we're leaving Latin Americaaaaa!!

There's been a lot of highlights and things to remember, and maybe a few things to forget. So I'm compiling a list of my personal top 10 drinks, foods, hostels and places we've visited. So keep your shorts tight, belt up, and enjoy this ride through top 10 wonderland :D



HOSTELS:

10 - Hostel Estoril - Buenos Aires
Right on Avenida De Mayo in the middle of Buenos Aires, this hostel had a great location, and the roof top balcony had amazing views. The only negative was the atmosphere was a bit dead, and Cats bed had bed bugs (not that, that bothers me though) :p

09 - Pangea - San Jose
This hostel was pretty crazy. Open a tiny metal door on a busy street of San Jose, then there was a MASSIVE hostel with TV rooms, bar, loads of showers and toilets, swimming pool, loads of modern computers, pool tables etc etc. Only problem was it was a bit like a factory and impersonal.

08 - El Viajero - Colonia Del Sacramento
Nothing to fancy about this place, but it did the simple things right. On a nice quiet cobbled road off the main street, the beds were nice, rooms were spacious, helpful staff, and they served some sexy tasting breads with dolce de leche for breakfast :)

07 - Zephyr Lodge - Lanquin
This place was located on a mountain with a 360 degree views of the trees, mountains and lakes surrounding it. Best view from a shower EVER. Had a cool bar / restaurant. Only problem was they used a stupid tab system to make payments (the town had no cash points), and our beds were just matresses on a floor. Plus our little cabbin had no windows and it was FREEZING in the morning.

06 - El Refugio - Pucon
Another no frills, but did everything right hostel. Located right opposite the bus station, and a block from everything in the small town. We had a big strong metal and rubber tent that held 6 people to sleep in. The covers were thick and warm, they had an outdoor kitchen to cook in, it was very social, and the staff were very helpful and organized.

05 - Alaska - Bariloche
Bariloche was a beautiful mountain village with a european feel, and this hostel suited the place perfectly. Warm, cozy cabbin, all wooden and homely. Very nice.

04 - Naked Tiger - San Juan del Sur
Crazy hostel. Probably the biggest "party hostel" we visited. Had a pool with amazing views of the beach below us. Saw a beautiful sunset every day. All the walls were graffed, they cooked good pizza, and they had a tv room with movies and south park boxsets :) Only problem was the "party vibe" was less "Get drunk and have fun" and more "Sniff lines and act pretentious".

03 - Quetzal - Cancun
Our first stop, and to this day, we've never met and made as many friends as this place. They inculded breakfast AND dinner, and even really cheap beers. Meaning, everyone sat on the outdoor table every day and got chatting. Cool staff, nice location.

02 - Brewha - outside San Jose
CLOSE call for number one spot. We almost didnt come to this hostel as it wasnt really near anything. BUT, the hostel was placed on a hill with a big waterfall beside it, they had a load of friendly dogs, and the staff were amazing. They made us feel and home, and we felt like we were staying with friends. They cooked beautiful home cooking, and they had a big underground tv room with a projector. We watched a lot of movies and Idiot Abroad :) At the end we made a sign showing how many KM it was to Harrow, and they made us a goodbye necklace :)

01 - Phoenix - Buzios
Phoenix gets our number one spot. Near a beach in Buzios, Brazil. This place was spotlessly clean. We had a dorm for 4 people (which we shared with 2 friends from our tour). The rooms had a lot of space, good en suit bathroom, and a private patio with hammock. Good kitchen we cooked in a lot, swimmingpool with wifi coverage around it, sunbeds, and a pet TORTOISE! :o Was very quiet so it felt like the 4 of us had just one the lottery and bought a dream home :)

Wooden Spoon - Weary Traveler - Tulum
The only place I got ill in. (MAYBE not its fault). But the hostel was pretty filthy, the dorms were damp and looked like prison cells. It also seemed to attract pretentious hippies who didnt like you if you didnt fall into their deep abyss of bullshit.




FOOD / MEALS:

10 - Chez Michou crepes / Emporio la Rosa ice-cream
Number ten is joint between this two dessert restaurants with a twist. Chez Michou served sweet AND savory crepes. You could easily have a tuna and cheese crepe for dinner, and a vanilla ice-cream, marshmallow and chocolate sauce one for dessert. They played football games and even turned into a bit of a night club at night. Emporio la Rosa sold SEXY ice-creams. Weird random flavors. Honey, Peanut and Caramel, Chilli Chocolate are some of my faves :) Also can have them as a milkshake or with a brownie or waffel - orgasm

09 - Chorrillana
A dish very popular in Chile. Its basically a tray of french fries, with scrambled egg, beef strips, and onion on it. Man vs Food!! Very good with hot sauce, but makes you feel a bit shitty afterwards :/

08 - Guinea Pig (Coy)
One of Peru's most famous dishes, Coy (guinea pig to you and me) Is a tasty road kill on a plate. Taste a bit like duck, but VERY little meat on it.

07 - Inca Trail cooking
It has to make the top 10 for the wonders these porters created whislt on the inca trail to machu picchu. Every eveing after a long walk, they managed to knock up tasty soups, meat and rice, dessurts etc. One day they even baked us a CAKE. How do you do that in a tent in the middle of nowhere? Mad skills.

06 - All you can eat pizza, Rio
In Rio one day we decided to get a "all you can eat pizza". Many game changers were created, and my eyes were opened. My favorite was probably the crispy fries one. Dunno how it worked but it did. Also the milk and white chocolate pizzas were orgasmic, if not a lil sickly :) Worth it.

05 - Olivas Travels, La Paz This was an English stlye restaurant, run my Brits and Ozzys. Probably had the best bangers and mash of my life there. Also, had battered MARS BAR for dessert. Fenton!

04 - Lobster, Caye Caulker
On this Island, everything was expensive apart from rum and lobster. Probably was the first ever time I could afford lobster. Was cooked to perfection. Came with rice, noodles and hot sauce :) Sex

03 - Burritos - Joy Ride bar, Sucre
OH MY GOD!!! Best Best Best. These are meant to be shared between 6 people. Shared with 4 the first time, 3 the next (inculding me). Ah, I dont think I will even describe it, I might eat the keyboard im typing on....

02 - Siga la Vaca
This is the "all you can eat" grill place in Buenos Aires. Loads of different cuts of everything that once said "moo". Loads of side dishes to chose from, free bottle of wine and dessert EACH! Ive been drunk off food before, but here - i was off my TITS! :o

01 - Tango show
Again in Buenos Aires. We treated ourselves to a tango show one night. The whole experience made it a meal to remember. But the food was actually AMAZING. Probably the best steak ive ever had. Starters and dessert was pretty buff too. I even got to salsa with the sexiest girl in the show too :) Good times

Wooden Spoon - Ceviche
Ceviche was apparently the "must try dish" in Peru. Guinea pig was better. Its basically anything with gills dead on a plate. Served COLD with a bit of lime juice. BUTTERS!




DRINKS:

10 - Tea and Coffee
HA! Most boring answer ever? I usually drink a tea or coffee about 5 times a YEAR in England. But in latin america, game changer. Maté Tea, Coco Tea, Guatemalan and Costa Rican Coffee, allll good. Ended up drinking a lot more than usual.

09 - H2Oh / Guarana
Joint at 9 is the two best soft drinks in Brazil. H2Oh is a fizzy water with a hint of lime. It taste almost exactly like Sprite. Drank loads of it. Guarana was a kind of natural energy drink i guess. Taste like a slightly fizzy cherry drink. Nice.

08 - Inca Cola
Cats favorite fact she learnt in South America - "Inca Cola is the only drink, that is drank more in its native country than Coca-Cola" (apart from Irn-Bru in Scotland). Taste like bubble gum and happiness.

07 - Wine
OMG, game changer! Didnt like wine until our tour around the wineries in Mendoza. Since then I quite enjoy the odd tipple :p Also, I learnt Argentinians like to mix wine with a drop of redbull in clubs as its cheap. Works pretty well!

06 - Terremoto (Earthquake) In Chile a Terremoto (Earthquake in English) Is unfiltered wine, grenadine, fernet (which is like unicum), and PINEAPPLE ICE-CREAM. Game changer? I think so. Only taste good when you mix it up, but you get drunk easily :) Bad hangovers :(

05 - 100% Rum
The alcohol selections might be more common in the higher parts of the top 10 ;) And whats better than 100% RUM!! Alot actually. Bought in Bolivia for miners (not minors), it feels more like a kick in the balls than a drink. But its a good party trick atleast ;)

04 - Pisco sours / Piscola
Pisco sours usually is a mix of Pisco, Lime and Egg whites. Common in Peru and Chile (I prefer Chiles I think), It can be mixed with other things too. Piscola is basically Pisco and Cola. Both really nice.

03 - Bobs Milkshakes
Sex. Thick milkshake which can be bought from Bobs (Brazilian fast-food joint). NICE! Chocolate, whippy ice-cream, milk, and crispy ovaltine bits in it. Gave me diarrhea every time - WORTH IT!

02 - Caipirinha
Made from Cachaca (brazilian liquor). Its only mized with crushed nice, sugar and lime juice. Which makes it STRONG. But refeshing and uplifting ;) Can also be mixed with other fruits. Gives you headaches - WORTH IT!

01 - Power Rum
"If you ask whats in a power rum, you have to buy a power rum". Famous last words. I arrived in a hostel in Ometepe Island and saw a drinking challenge with 5th place only having 3 DRINKS! I thought I could beat that, and did. Got to 4.5, and blanked out. 5 different rums and Raptor energy drink (banned in every country but Nicaragua apparently). CHUNDERED EVERYWAHH!! Off my bed, through the wholes in the wooden floor and to the bar below me. Any drink that makes me do that after just FOUR deserves respect - WORTH IT!! lol

Woodern Spoon - Machu Picchu
This was a cocktail I had in Puno, Peru. I had it for the name, and the fact they used dry ice, carbon dioxide to make it smoke. Was rank. I Bassonged it (downed it) to get rid of it, but it had bits of jelly and taste like marzipan. Making the taste AND texture horrible. Got the worst hangover of my LIFE after that night. Probably more to do with the altitude, but im blaming that crap - NOT WORTH IT!




PLACES / TOWNS / SIGHTS:

Hard to some up my favorite most memorable places, but here we go....

10 - Buenos Aires - Argentina
Very cultural and romantic city. Great food, restaurants, nightlife, history. Some things annoyed me about it. Buses, shops closing early - small things like that. Still a great place though.

09 - Colonia Del Sacramento - Uruguay
Been to a lot of "colonial towns" since leaving. Cobbled streets, churches, quaint restaurants. But this one was the nicest. Really quiet, and pleasant. Beautiful building - Old people would love it.

08 - Uyuni - Bolivia
Salt flats, snowy mountains, and huge moon like rock lands. Really mystical photogenic place.

07 - Tikal - Guatemala
Probably my favorite Myan Ruin we visited. A lot less touristy than Chitzen Itza, and more places to wonder. Climbed one Ruin and got to see great views of all the other ruins and jungle below it.

06 - Caye Caulker - Belize
Breaking away from Latin America to a more Caribbean vibe was nice. Lobster, Rum, Reggae, Beaches and Snorkeling. Good times :)

05 - Bariloche - Argentina
My biggest surprise. Wasnt on our plan to go there. But when we got there we witnessed some of the best views ive ever seen. Google image the place and you will understand.

04 - Valparaiso - Chile
Reminded me of Disneys Aristocats or something. Mazes, apon Mazed of colourful streets, buildings, street art and restaurants. Loads of alley ways going up and down hill. The only place where getting lost is a pleasure.

03 - Machu Picchu - Peru
Four days after walking the Inca Trail - WORTH IT! Seeing it at first from the "sungate" was a little underwhelming, but I could of wondered around there taking 6000 photos from every angle possible. Amazing.

02 - Iguazu Falls
Something ive always wanted to see. Didnt dissapoint. Not much I can really say about it. Humbling experience.

01 - Rio de Janeiro - Brazil
Probably the only place I visited where id NEVER get bored. Beautiful parks, Beautiful beaches, Beautiful women - Cool clubs, Cool Graffiti, Cool people. Will def visit again.

Wooden Spoon - Guatemala City - Guatemala
Shit hole. Feel sorry for the people living there. Its like one big filthy market - not worth it.




That concludes my South America reviews.

Hope you enjoyed and I hope its helpful to anyone traveling.

See you on the flip side in New Zealand and Australia :D

Keep em tighttttt!! xxx

Cry For Me Argentina, CRY!!

Big wet sloppy blog balls! :)

Blogging is back in fashion, and this computer aint crashin'

Coming to the end of our Argentine experience now, and I havent written a peep about it. But dont worry, all thats about to change, right about.....now.....

First stop - Buenos Aires. "BA" if your a traveling G. We got there via a ferry from Colonia, Uruguay. Had some crazy Boca Junior fans chanting on the ferry all the way there. A lot of the old people dealt with it pretty well. If that was England, there would of been 5000 dirty looks, 2000 kissed teeth, and 8000 letters of compaint to the travel company. But thats just how we roll. A lot of people hyped up BA to us, and said it was supposed to be an amazing city, and it was. As you might of heard, I shed blood and tears to withdraw money in Uruguay, but I did manage to get my hands on $600USD from a cash point. For some reason they are short of dollars in Argentina and they really really want them, and are offering ridiculous exchange rates for them. We spoke to a few people in our hostel, and also the guy behind the reception desk. They were saying banks offer about 5.5 per dollar, but the exchange houses were offering about 7.4 - BUT, if we were REALLY daring we could go to the streets and get even more. So we rolled down there, and the first girl on this certain street was muttering "cambio cambio cambio". I asked how much she was offering and she said 7.8 - I said "deal". She walked down the road to meet her little friend, who had rolls of $100ARS notes in a bag. The guy at our hostel warned us a lot of people have been ripped off, and the best way to check if the notes are real are the "100" marks in the top corner. They change from blue to green when you turn the note in the sun. I counted each and every note ($4600ARS), slowly in the street corner. Cat got a bit flustered and panicky, and the exchange girl was getting aggy, but I made sure. At the end of it all, we walked away happy with a £186 profit, and spent it all :D

That very night we treated ourselves to a meal at Siga La Vaca. £20 each for all you can eat grilled meat, steak etc, salad, veg, pastas, potatoes, EVERYTHING - Bottle of wine or soft drink each, free water, and one dessert each. Needless to say - shit hit the fan. Everyone in the restaurant was composed, slow, polite, graceful. I just ate EVERYTHING and ANYTHING. I walked 45mins back to our hostel feeling drunk on food.... Cat walked 45mins back drunk on food AND wine :p

Every evening walk in BA is nice. Its a very romantic city. All the parliment buildings etc are lit up at night in bright colours. People go out late, and its a very cultured place. I could go on and on about BA. The photos will probably explain more. Pictures do say a thousand words after all. We spent St Patricks day there, and for some reason there was a lot of kilts and bagpipes - think they got a bit confused :-s We didnt spend much money that night. Cat fell asleep in the club and I drank a litre of Fernet to myself and took pictures of me pulling faces next to her. Fernet is basically the same as Unicum if anyones tried that before. Its rank. We DID however treat ourselves to a tango show the following night. The show came with a free tango lesson. We learnt steps and went round practicing with different partners.... I can honestly say, Cat was the worst tango dancer I had that night -_- During the show we had a BEAUTIFUL steak meal, and both me and Cat got pulled up to dance with the performers infront of everyone...... Best.

Mendoza was our 2nd stop. If you dont know what Mendoza is, its a town made famous for tourists to visit and drink LOADS of wine. The best way to do it, is to hire a bike, and cycle around wineries for tours and tastings. Cat was excited about this even before we left England. She was a bit concerned I didnt wanna do it, or I wouldnt be too bothered, as I dont drink wine much.... But the challenge was accepted, and the wine, was a GAME CHANGER! I can actually drink wine now and enjoy it :p Drank a lot that day. Probably quicker and more than evreyone else. We met up with a couple we bumped into in Buenos Aires and it was a really good day. We finished on Absinthe shots and flavored liqours. All goooooood. Oh, and theres a town with all the wineries called Maipu and Manpu - pronounced "my poo" and "man poo" .......... We didnt go into Maipu or Manpu :-l

Apart from that in Mendoza we went out one night. Learnt that wine with a dash of redbull is a great new cheap drink - Game changer... We also went to a big zoo in Mendozas massive park. Enjoyed it at first. But it was actually really badly run. A lot of the animals were in small pens in bad conditions. There was an escaped baboon, no zoo keepers, and a lot of the animals were hungry and thirsty. There was a polar bear there that was absolutely mental. I wanted to kill it to put it out its misery. At one point we actually walked up to an elephant, pulled leaves of a tree and fed him. Someone had to do it. I fed a gorilla an orange too. I know you aint supposed to feed zoo animals, but in them conditions, you might aswell make their taste buds happy atleast.

I wanted to head more south after Mendoza. I actually wanted to go more towards Patagonia, to the ice caps, end of the world etc, but time and money was running thin... Damn Rio. Bariloche was the next obvious stop down. I didnt know much about it before we got there, but it didnt disappoint!! Was probably the most natually beautiful town we´ve been to so far. I always wanted to go somewhere like Norway or Switzerland, with the snowy mountains, trees and lakes, and thats what we got.... Except, not so much snow this time of year. There was a big European infulence there. The locals even looked German or Swiss. They ate posh chocolate and fondue in their cabins and all sorts. We stayed in a nice wooden cabin for a hostel and did walks every day with a Brazilian girl we met in Mendoza :)

We´re in a small town called San Martin now. Very similar to Bariloche. Next stop will be across the boarder to Chile! Theres a lot of things I wanted to do thats been sacrificed. Think one day I´ll visit Argentina again. Do Patagonia properly, the Patagonian Express train, Peninsula area, maybe the Galapagos and Easter Islands... Ill save that for retirement :)

Sorry for making you read so much blog fans. Thanks to all my loyal followers. Love you.

Keep em tight - the way I like it.

One x

Brazil and Uruguay bank tours

BLOG FAAAAAANNSSSSS!!

Loosen your shorts, and SIT BACK! Because another blog update is herrreeee!

Currently in BA, Argentina. But we havent spoken since FINALLY leaving Brazil and also visiting Uruguay. So lets begin....

After FINALLY leaving Rio, we spent a few nights in Sao Paulo. It was yet another city where everyone warned us to be careful etc. I dunno whats wrong with some people. One girl said its the "most dangerous city in south america". Well, I knew that was bullshit straight away. Especially compared to places like Caracas. They also said "theres nothing there, dont bother going, its ugly". When we first got there I could kinda see what they meant. We got off the bus station and straight into the train station to get the tube to our hostel. First impressions was it just looked like a bigger version of Northwick Park hospital. So imagine that. And it was BUSY! Sao Paulo in rush hour is no joke. Our hostel was kind of in the middle of no where, so we had to get the tube back and forth every day. We visited the Estadio Municipal, which is the Corinthians stadium and football museum. A lot of the guys working there liked to remind me about Corinthians beating Chelsea 1-0 in the world club cup, which was nice of them. Apart from that we just wondered around the city, and looked at graffiti (which is rated as some of the best in the world). One place which was a squat, was turned into some sort of hangout for youngsters in media, art, design etc to study and work. I dont really know what they do, but we asked to get shown around and it was pretty cool.

Got pretty bad diarrhea on the last day. We were getting a night bus to Florinapolis that night and i was pretty nervous :) Luckily it wasnt too bad. Got it out my system before we left. But I did have some troubles in the night bus toilet.... For some reason when I went to take a wee, my wee sprayed back at me :-s As you all know, when you start its hard to stop. I dont know if it had something to do with the coach moving fast, but i doubt it. I was in this tiny cubical, with my wee spraying all over the walls, mirror, on my hands, tshirt, face! I was thinking "Is this toilet TAKING THE PISS!?". Then I realized - No, It was giving it back.... -_-

Anyway, Florinapolis turned out to be our last stop in Brazil. It was recommended by a few people, and we could see why. We got a hostel RIGHT on the beach. Only problem was we had pretty shitty weather whilst we were there. The beaches were nice, and really quiet (maybe because of the weather). We had a walk on the beach on our first day, and there was one or two joggers, and stray dogs playing in the waves. Was nice. The guy who ran the hostel was a bit of a stoner. Theres pros and cons to having a stoner for a hostel owner. The cons were we never trusted much of anything he said. We didnt get our laundry back until about 40mins before we had to get the bus out of there on the last day. When we asked where the hell our laundry was, he was just like "She was slower because of the rain. Its crazy weather!" With a smile like its some cool phenomenon and we hadnt just spent about 100quid on bus tickets leaving in an hours time. On the plus side he handed out a lot of weed. I got hulk smashed and watched Avatar on a tiny tv. Its cool when your high. But I couldnt keep still because I thought there was an ice cream bowl by my foot, and I was nervous I would knock it over.... Funny thing was - I hadnt had ice cream all day.... :-l

We got pretty good weather on our last day in Florinapolis, then we got a 24hr bus to Montevideo, Uruguay. 24hrs in nothing to us nowadays. Uruguay was a really nice country from what we saw of it. Weather was a lot more bearable than Brazils. I had no perceptions on what Uruguay would be like to be honest. Its biggest downfall was the BANKS! Agh!! We withdrew money fine on the first day, but on the second day, NOTHING! We walked from our hostel about 5 miles down the coast to the city center as it was nice. But when we got there we spent ALL DAY trying EVERY BANK in the bloody city to get money. It eventually got dark and we had no money. So had to walk all the way back to the hostel because we couldnt afford a bus, and we managed to get a few coins together to buy biscuits for dinner. We got back and tried Cats card from our room, still failed. An American guy lent us some money to get a bus to the station where we first withdrew from, fail. FML! Luckily we brought my Natwest Justin Case, and withdrew some money on that, with a shit exchange rate and charge, but oh well, we had money. We got a McDonalds at midnight to celebrate and the next day we moved on.

My legs are henchhhh!

Colonia Del Sacramento was our 2nd and final stop of our short Uruguay visit. Was a REALLY nice place. Cobbled streets, old churches, light houses, all that stuff. Visited an abandoned bull ring one day. Broke into it, and it was really cool. Everyone there drank maté tea. Its weird stuff. Its just some leaves in a pot that they pour hot water into and sip. But you have to carry the pot and the flask around all day like a dick, so i dont get it :-s We had problems withdrawing money there too. I used my Natwest again a few times and withdrew US dollars. I heard you can sell dollars in Argentina for CRAZY good exchange rates, so we didnt care about the charges and exchange rates at that point, we just took the risk. Ill explain how that went in my next episode ;)

Overall it was a really good stay. Photos will be up soon.

For now ill leave it there.

Keep your shorts tight, and your mind right.

If I dont see you through the week, Ill see you through the windooowwww xxx

Blog Philosophies

As a KRS-One song once said:
"So you´re a philosopher?"
"Yes - I think very deeeeply."

Morning blog addicts -
People say travel broadens the mind, changes you, lets you "find yourself."
These are just some thoughts / observations ive had since being away....

I´ll prob write it in bullet point style, to keep it remotely ginteresting.
hmmm where to start?...



As I said - people say "traveling can change you" etc.
Is this true for me?
Hell no! Im Robbie G!! HA3! Haha nah, I dont think traveling can change me much. Im too stubborn. I wont let it. Or maybe the type of traveling im doing is not extreme enough to change my whole outlook on life...YET. Or maybe I dont really know who I am, so how can I change something I dont know really excists... o-0 If anything traveling might give me time to think about the way I want to live my life when I get back to England. I´ve made a lot of notes on things I want to do when I return. Im actually considering doing a silence meditation course when back. Its a 10 day thing where you dont speak or communicate in any way AT ALL... Not to drastically change my life or anything, but to....challenge me or something....I dont know :-s

When we climbed the Inca Trail not so long ago, I came down wanting to push myself more physically and train for something else too. I´ve never ran a marathon, or climbed a really challenging mountain or anything like that really. I think i´ve come to the realization that im not going to be a rich businessman, or an actor, or footballer, or rich or famous. So I think achievements like this will leave a legacy behind. Something to boast about and tell future little Gurneys :p Something more than "I worked hard like a honest man, and died an honest man!"



Other travelers:
Most people ive met whilst traveling ive actually really liked. MOST of them. I know im naturally pessimistic when it comes to meeting new people, (which is my problem) but most people who travel are not ignorant arse holes. Or they wouldnt be out here in the first place. You get some pretentious idiots. Mainly fake hippies who probably lock themselves in cupboards and fart repeatedly so they can smell how pure and clean they all are. Dicks lol.

Im not interested in making new friends much. More focused on the ones I still have at home. I have a bit of a "hang on to what you have" mentality at the moment. I liked my life in England before I left. Ironic :-s

I dont like socializing in big crowds much either. Its a lot of effort. People have to fight to be heard, and im not that eager. Or that bothered to listen to the people who have won the battle for attention to be honest. I float off into my own world. I think im a naturally lonely or independant person 0:)

Cat (as you know) is a very open person who offers herself to people quickly. She is more bothered about other people, what they think about her. A large part of her traveling experience is about the people she meets. But everyone gets something different out of traveling I guess. I look within myself more...reflect :p
It didnt take long for the whole "Where are you from?" "Where are you going" talk to get old. Some people are like "Oh, you´re from London!" And they think they have you figured out lol.

But a lot of travelers seem to of had a more interesting life than yours too. Or more educated, or cultured or something. And their whole story of why theyre here, where theyve been, their childhood etc. And Im just like, "Yeh, I got kicked out the house most days. Played football and kerby on the streets, then came home."
Makes you realize who you really are and where you belong I guess. Where you came from and how you grew up might be common in your neighbourhood, but its worlds apart to some other peoples.



I asked Cat the other day:
"Do you think, if we had a lot more money, our travels would be a lot diferent? And if so, a lot better?"
She was just like "Yeah! We could do all this and that, and not care etc." I tried to get all deep about it. Like, when we saw hand-gliders coming down the moutains in Rio, we looked up and was like "WOW!" and smiled. But the hand-gliders at the top are probably smiling just as much and going "WOW!" too. Just for a lot more money...But she wasnt having any of it saying "We could do all these experiences and go home having done it all..." I tried to argue its not good to have everything at your finger tips....
ANYWAY, after having bank problems in Uruguay, where we couldnt withdraw any money. I realized my thoughts were bullshit lol. Some days we´ve been so broke, we´ve shared 50p biscuits for dinner, or gone to a restaurant just to get out, but could only afford a cup of tea, and then walk past other people eating delicious stakes and they smell so gooood. And walking past modern hotels, to get to our raggity dorm rooms to share bunk beds with our pet cockroaches :p I used to think, "HA! Look at these suckers paying 5 times what we do, and theyre staying just down the road and seeing the same sights as we do." Now, I have a slightly different view lol. But thats the travelers life!!



Hmmm - Am I home sick at all?
Not really. I missed friends and family quite quickly. Times gone fast though. Its crazy, the concept of time has gone all wrong. Seems like AGES AGO we were in Rio. But its only just over a week ago! When you travel on coach (some night buses), and go somewhere new for a day, then move on again, different weathers, different cultures, countries, landscapes, languages, etc.... It seems like 4 days ago could be last month! But at the same time, being at home doesnt seem that long ago. I guess facebook, messaging, talking to everyone just makes home seem so much closer.
On the coaches we get to see parents saying bye to their kids, before they go off somewhere else to work or go school or something. Reminds me of emotionally saying goodbye to all our friends indivisually, then our parents. I look out the windows of the coaches with my ipod in, and have a moment :p
I dont get home sick really though. We take it day by day, coz thinking of the amount of time we might be away for is craaazzyyy. I just think of being at work, scraping ice off my car, traffic, insurance rapings, and sitting in my bedroom in the dark - flicking through photos of me being here. Its been a pretty epic trip already, so looking back on it all, from home, and digesting it properly, will be madnesssss!!


OooooKay blog fans.
Think I´ll keep it there for now.


I´ll blog about the rest of our Brazil trip, and Uruguay trip soon.
Its very ginteresting...


Might even have more future "blog philosophies" if theres demand ;)




Keep your shorts tight - like mine and Cats daily budget
And keep it hood....


PEACE!!