We Are Farmers: Diary 2

"I want to get away, I want to get away....
I want to get away, I want to get awaaayay
YEAH!!"
....Excuse my friend Lenny blog fans.
But the guy has a valid point... Here comes blog diary number 2...

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WEEK 5:

We were offered a trip to Cooktown by Ryan and Tobi on Saturday. Cat needed to go for a check up at the hospital there. The boil under her arm is growing and getting a bit out of control. Ive named her Susan... (Susan Boil). So shes getting medication for that. Later in the evening i started playing pool and drank rum and coke. I wanted to stay up to watch all the English football games. Unfortunately theyre on really late. So after drinking the rum, then passion pop, then goon, then drinking straight vodka with Sam, i puked on the grass and passed out asleep. Luckily i saw the Chelsea game... just missed Liverpool.

Works been plodding along. Cats said shes struggling with it mentally, but my thoughts seem to entertain me enough. Im struggling more physically. With all the kerosene in my face and my hand feeling like a Mini Coopers driven over it at 0.2mph. Getting proper repetitive strain injuries now. Once Cats gun got clogged up with stems and bits of shit, so i told her to bang the handle against a tree to pop all the crap out... As i watched through the trees to see her do it, she bangs it as i was talking, and about 2 liters of kerosene went straight down my throat! She could of pointed it in the opposite direction. But no. Total classic slapstick shmoseby... You can laugh about these things in hindsight - not funny at the time blog fans. Sometimes i swear i get so pissed off at work, i actually pull my pants down to take a piss in the middle of the paddocks. Theres something about the stress and frustration here that goes straight to my genitals. Like anger has to leave my body in liquid form.

Other than that we've seen a load of tree frogs, a lone baby pig, and our first snake. The snake was on a tree that was being chopped down by the guy we were working with. So i guess we got 2 snakes for the price of 1..... We've had some appreciation from the bosses and other workers. A little appreciation makes a big difference. They said we're doing a good job. So thats nice to hear... Susan Boil seems to leaving us.

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WEEK 6:

Tobi and Ryan had permission to use their bosses car again. So they invited Josh and us to go to CAIRNS! Was awesome to get out to somewhere with pubs, clubs, cinemas, supermarkets. There was a big cyclone warning, but we took the risk and drove 4hrs to get there anyway. Ryan and Josh had the chance to celebrate belated bdays, we could look into booking a holiday for my bday in Aug... annndd maybe a leaving party for Susan the Boil? :p We had a big night out friday, then went to cinema to see Tracks on saturday. Good true story about a lady who walked across half of Australia. So was a good weekend. Nice to escape from this farm land abyss.

Think the cyclone that was predicted on the weekend came on monday. It pissed down!! Got so bad, we couldnt kerosene... So i did humping again. I like humping. I like humping when its wet. And it was very very wet blog fans ;)

On Wednesday we had a bit of a game changer. We were told by Monica, our shed manager, that our working hours will be changing. They went from 6:30am - 4pm to 7am - 4pm. So we get half an hour longer in bed, but less pay. Id prefer the extra cash to be honest. Thats $50 a week we're losing out on now. Oh well. I turned down an invite to go to the pub on Friday. I wanted to save money. But Cat decided to go and spend enough money for the 2 of us. Schmose...

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WEEK 7:

Week 7... You know what that means? WE'RE OVER HALF WAY THROUGH!! Thank the lords blog fans. Thank - the - lords!... Some of the boys were invited to do over-time work this weekend - I was left out.... So, instead Cat and I (and a few others from the accommodation) volunteered to help out at the local school. Its a school of 14 kids. Not a class of 14 - a SCHOOL! I got to ride one of those lawn-mower car things like Forest Gump and cut the grass. Was pretty awesome. Didnt get paid for it but we got a free bbq and soft drinks at the end. Not much else to do here on weekends anyway... On Sunday Dhillon took us to see some of the surrounding areas of Lakeland. There was about 8 or 9 of us. We went to these waterfall areas where you can swim. Was pretty dangerous as the bit we were swimming in had a strong current, that dragged you towards the next waterfall. We still swam around and risked our lives anyway. Cat even jumped off the top of a massive cliff into the water below. Must of been at least the height of a house. I decided not to risk my life twice... Snakes have been spotted around work and the accommodation lately. If we get bit by one of the worst ones we're as good as dead. Exciting stuff. A snake was seen outside our room by the manager here. I heard him shout for another guy, who ran up and smacked the snake to death with a plank of wood like he was Hacksaw Jim Duggan. I just stood there and felt sorry for it. But i guess theres been no human deaths here lately, so....

We had another game changer on Monday. Came into work and there was 5 or 6 new people sitting round. Chris the supervisor came up to Cat and said "You'll be cutting today". I got a bit excited and said "So we're both cutting now!?" ... "No, just Cat". So shes been promoted and im stuck with kerosening still. Chris said he thought he'd give Cats hand a rest coz shes a girl, but it feels more like a promotion. Plus its a bit de-masculating having a small girl cutting off the trees whilst im tagging along after her with my little Needle injecting the stumps. (I called my kero gun Needle as ive been watching Game Of Thrones lately). But oh well. At least Cats time farming should be slightly better for her now. She gets stung by quite a lot of wasps doing it, but id probably take 60 wasp stings a day to the eye ball to get out of kerosening. And i know what that feels like! One of the new guys took Cats place to kero with me. Felt sorry for him to be honest. I showed him what to do, and by the next day he was already going quicker than me... Its a great feeling to be crap at your job :) I made a playlist of happy songs to listen to on my phone whilst working. I called it "Kero Happiness" ...Its not working blog fans...

Had another exciting snake moment on Thursday... I was walking down the paddocks at the end of a session. Just strolling along happily like i was Jiminy Cricket or something... Cat and Josh the new guy stood there waiting, looking at me. So i throw my proton pack into the trailer we leave all our stuff in, and Cat goes "...We just saw a snake under there".... As casual as that... After Cat and Josh described it to the Aussie guy we work with, we came to the conclusion it was a Taipan. So basically the worlds most deadly snake, which could kill you in 20mins was right next to my leg, probably startled by the noise of my pack dropping into the trailer, and all Cat does is "Oh theres a snake there".... Luckily i think i scared it off and it slithered away rather than kill me in defence. So, thanks mr snake. After my dry weekend last week, i was easily convinced to go pub on friday. Walked straight to the bar and said "2 shots of sambuca and a bottle of your cheapest wine please". Drank the wine straight from the bottle like Tinie Tempah... So super smashing.

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WEEK 8:

Saturday - woke up at 11am coz Cat made pizza. Ate some, then went back to bed until 5pm. Got up and ate some chocolate.. Hangovers are def worse with wine. My only plan for the day was to watch Chelsea THRASH Arsenal. So thats what i did :) 6-0. Blup! Nothing else really happened on the weekend. A lot more people are moving into our accommodation. So we just spoke and chilled with them really. Monday - same shit different day. Think me and Josh must be getting high off the kero as convos have turned to religion, time and space, conspiracy theories, and if "mental people" is just a label?

Tuesday - GAME CHANGER!! The day was plodding along in its usual monotonous fasion. Then on the last session Chris came up to me: "Can i trust you with a knife Rob?"
"Me? Well if you can trust Cat, you can trust me!"
"We got 2 new guys coming in to kerosene tomorrow. So you can do cutting with Cat and Dimitri"...
Jizz blog fans... JIIIZZZ!!...

On my first day cutting i thought id wear a nice lil vest, coz i know itll be hot and ill prob sweat a lot. First two sessions went by, and it was a good call. It was hot, sweaty, hard work. THEN blog fans, things done chaaanged!! Probably the heaviest rain ive seen, in my LIFE. There was probably more rain drops in the air per square meter, than there was oxygen! It was ridiculous. Not ideal for sporting a vest. The roads went from muddy tracks, to white water rapids in a matter of minutes. My welly boots were filled with water to the point of nearly over-flowing. Then the lightning came, and it was so close, we were rushed inside as it was too dangerous to work. The thunder and lightning was so loud and close to us. Was def a "Jesus Christ Fenton" moment. Made the day interesting though. Sometimes when me and Cat work together, she still manages to make the job even less enjoyable than it already is. On Thursday I just wanted to get away from her, so i was cutting through the trees like the Tazmanian Devil with Incredible Hulk rage to get ahead of her... Then my knife snapped... So ive broken a kero gun and a knife with my rages now. On Friday we discovered a snake was living under our cabin. So we're a bit nervous when walking around outside now. Everyone seems to come to the conclusion its a Taipan every time we see a snake. Ive decided to call it Terry The Friendly Taipan. Just to make it less threatening in my head :) But if it bites anyone, we're definitely dead blog fans :/ Cat went pub Friday and I stayed in again. I watched the movie K-Pax. She came in at about 3-4am with Frenky our West Papuan friend coz he was sleeping outside by the bonfire. We've had him and others crash at ours before. But the owners of our accommodation keep finding out, and now Cats seen as the biggest trouble maker here. Haha. Shes been given an ultimatum, and if it happens again, shes being kicked out... That would be jokes to see though wouldnt it blog fans :p

Anyway - we've come the end of our 2nd month. One month left and we've earnt our 2nd year visa. In hindsight itll be a small price to pay for an extra year here. Im not too bothered about living in Oz for another year. Im really looking forward to Asia now. But we need this time to see the east coast, northern territory, and most importantly, earn more money for travel. I think the plan is to work on this farm a couple weeks after our 3 months is over. We can then save more cash, and time our east coast trip to coincide with Rachel and Shonas leaving party in Sydney. So thats the plans for the next couple months. Other than that - ill keep blogging, keeping you all up to date. As long as you keep your shorts tight and keep reading blog fans.

Love to you all...

And If i dont see you through the week.... im probably dead.........

Zooooooopaaaaaaa!!

Have You Seen My Kero?

Have you seen my kero?
Coz all ive seen is kerosene,
And yes it cause me agro
And when i sleep its kero dreams,
Bananas they be yellow
But before they ripen they seem green,
So we're working turbo
As bosses need that crazy cream,
But im not here solo
We get through this as a team,
So can you pass my kero?
So i can dream and kerosene.

We Are Famers: Diary 1

We are farmers! dum de dum da dum dum dum....

Howdy ya'll. Another blog all up in ya facceee! As i previously stated - i will be posting a blog every month of my week by week diary. I got a feeling ill have a lot to say for the first couple weeks, then the next few might get a bit samey. But all i can do is speak from the heart and be truely honest blog fans....

WEEK 1:

So, week 1 - ive already explained our first impressions of our new place. We came here and settled in pretty well. The welsh guy, Sam, who we share a cabin with was going pub. So he offered to pick us up some Strongbows from the bottle shop. We sat around having a few drinks, and meeting the people we were gonna be living amoungst and working with. Most of the Brits here work at the same farm we are - Mackays. Apparently its a really good farm to work for. Some of the other farms in the area treat people like poo. So we were lucky. The guys here seemed really cool. We even met a guy from Edgeware. So that was a bit of a shocker. Small world blog fans...

We woke up for work the next day at 5am. We were told we were doing "stringing" on our first day. We thought we were employed to do kerosening, but whatever... Stringing is basically tieing the banana trees back to a tree behind them, so they dont fall in heavy weather etc. Its not so bad for a first job.... It didnt feel like a farm. It felt more like a jungle. There were spiders EVERYWHAH. But I started to get a bit used to them... Kinda.. I just gotta watch out for the dangerous ones.

It rained a lot the first week. The mud here is like a red clay, and our clothes got really shitty and our feet got really wet. Even in wellies. Showers become a chour at the end of the day. Takes a good 30mins of scrubbing to get even remotely clean. The showers and toilets are outside, so Cat has to run the gauntlet of frogs in the evening. Shes scared of them and asks me to scare them off... Some times i do... but some times i dont blog fans ;)

We stayed working together outside in the paddocks all week. Its rare for girls to stay outside. They usually have the sorting jobs in the shed. I started to eat bananas that had fallen whilst working. I dont even like bananas. But sometimes when your damp, tierd and hungry, and you see the perfect banana, glowing golden like it was grown in the garden of edan. You just gotta appreciate it and munch that bad boy down.

At the end of the week we had a little party and some drinks. You gotta do it. Not much else to do here. The party got shut down by Dhillon the owner. So i stayed up drinking on my own and watched Chelsea beat Newcastle 3-0. Good first week.

WEEK 2:

At the beginning of week 2, I was mostly humping. But enough about my personal life blog fans!.... ha, only joking. "Humping" is when the bananas get cut off the trees and you gotta carry them on your shoulders to the truck. It wasnt easy. The bananas were heavy and hard. My shoulders were brusied, but everyone said youll get used to it eventually. Cat started off in the shed with the other girls sorting. We both then moved on to doing some weeding half way through the week. I met the big boss guy, and he seemed to hate me straight away. I think there's something about my body language and look, that makes all authority figures hate me. It was all a misunderstanding though. I was doing what i was asked to do, so... sekkle ya batty... That same guy later took me and Cat aside to start the kerosening. Thats where we inject tree stumps with kerosene to stop them growing. When he was walking us through it, it got stupidly innuendous... "Stick it in, pull it half way out, then squirt". "Stick it deep, right in the middle." "Squirt as much as you can." "Watch it doesnt squirt in your face or eyes." Haha.... I so wanted to scream THATS WHAT SHEEEE SAAAAIIDDD!! But couldnt as it was the grumpy boss man. Cat made it worse by saying "Its all in the wrist action really isnt it".... Classic Cat...

Pumping that kerosene all day gave me some messed up dreams. I have about 20 a night. I must be coming home high. We might be doing this permanently now for a long time. So i could see it as im getting paid to get high.

Still no spider bites, and i aint seen a snake. I think people need to make less fuss of spiders and snakes in Oz, and focus on the real problem - flies. Aaghhh so many!! Every lunch time they just gang rape every hole in your body. Mozzie bites too. Our legs look like Nic-Naks. But its a way of life here. Cats not coping with the seclusion as well as me. She cant chill. Always trying to make plans for the evenings and weekends. She wants to buy a car so we can drive places. But im just here to get our 2nd year visa and save money. So keep posted on car news blog fans.... We had a leaving party for a girl called Clare. We had a big bonfire - a lot of talking, drinking and smoking.... A big Fijian guy called Izzy held my hand, and told me im a lovely man....

WEEK 3:

Week 3 started strangely. Two new Welsh boys arrived, Ryan and Toby. We introduced ourselves and had the usual "Where you been, where you going" conversation. They had been staying in Melbourne for 2 months. We told them we stayed with some friends in St Kilda. They jokinly said "they aint the same friends as ours are they?" As a joke coz they were a couple from London as well. "What are your mates names?", "Oh these guys we know from home, Rob and Nancy". "No way!! Rob and Nancy!?" Fenton blog fans. It happened again... First we found out Andy (the aussie we met in brazil) lived in the same block as Rob and Nancy, and now this. Small world blog fans, small world...

Cats been flirting and making weekend plans with others. She managed to get the Italian boys we work with to take her to Cooktown for shopping. She stocked up on food and drink whilst i went for a little bike ride to the pub with Sam and Charlotte. Its only 10km away(!).... Was good though.

At work we continued with the kerosening. Walking around like The Ghostbusters with our proton packs on. Starting to get a bit sick of the kerosene smell, and our hands really hurt from the constant pumping of the handles. Its hard blog fans. Sometimes you get the kero on your face, then you walk through a thousand spider webs a minute that sick to your face, then your face does its best Niagra Falls impression from the sweat in the sun... DPMO!... Cats got sprayed in her face many times (and at work lol) But her skin is starting to go bad from it. Ive got white bumps on my legs too. Think its both from the kerosene burning, but u can only see mine over the dark tattooed areas of my leg.

One of our supervisors, Chris, made a comment about me and Cat having to keep up with a woman called Clare who we've been kerosening with a bit. He didnt mean much by it, but Cat took it to heart. I think he wants us at the top of our game as we're the main keroseners. But Cat then started to work like a mad man and got annoyed with me coz i wernt keeping up. But i know im going fast, and any faster i wont be doing it right. By friday i was going through them like Terminator, then i see Clare catching up with me... I wanted to turn round at her and shout "Oi! You go back and do that properly yeah!" Its like we were racing, and i was in the fastest car in the world, taking the corners perfectly. There's no way anyone could catch up unless theyve taken a short cut or cut corners... So whatever. Im gonna continue the way i am. Cats just scared coz shes heard about people on other farms being sacked...

Not much else has happened. Cat still wants to get a car. She thinks it will give us things to do on the weekends - and i just dont want the hassle. I just wanna work weekdays, relax weekends, and look forward to having fun after our farming is over. Time is flying fast so far. We're already a quarter of the way through! Starting to miss people from home now. Think routine and work does that to you more :p

WEEK 4:

If you havent noticed, i start my weekly diary from the weekends. Its friday, and im playing drinking games with beer, cider and fortified wine. I dont know what "fortified" means - but it should probably die.

Saturday was good. I got out of Lakeland for the first time since arriving. A German girl called Jessica took me, Cat and Charlotte to Cooktown just to get out and do a food shop. The town was nice. Really small, but compared to Lakeland i almost got a nose bleed from the metropolis. We went IGA and bought 2 vodkas, 2 wines, 2 Passion Pops, Captain Morgans, and a box of goon. Justin Case.... Later that day i watched the Chelsea v Everton game on my own with goon. Downed a cup of it and put it on my head when Terry scored the winner ;) On Sunday a load of us hiked a hill near where we live. Was pretty dangerous. Could of died by crocodile, spider, wild boar, snakes, or being molested by a crazy redneck. It was a bit like Blair Witch / Hills Have Eyes / Anaconda. Red Back spiders and snakes have been spotted at work recently too. So we had to be ninja about it... Spoiler alert - we survived...

Monday was back to work... Was shit... But we stayed at that Jess girls house just to see her place and she made T-Bone steak for us. Tuesday was even shitter than Monday. Things were going wrong all day, and Cat keeps rushing the job to make it even less enjoyable. Dunno why. This job is gonna be bigger than our 3 months. Its continuous. We cant win.... My kerosene gun was jamming a lot. I had some Akira Tetsuo, TekkenKinkreet Minotour, M. Bison physco power moments. Broke my kerosene gun and kicked a few trees... When i came back with a new and better gun, a wasp stung my eye. So there was no winning on that day. Wednesday i woke up to make toast. None of the toasters worked. After trying one in a different socket, i got it to turn on. I put the bread in and went to the toilet. All the boys ones were occupied, so i went in the girls. The light didnt turn on in there so i pissed all on their floor. When i got back to my toast, the toaster popped it out so hard, it landed straight on the filthy floor.... So i had no toast.

After that the week got better as it went along. Our hands hurt a lot now though. Can barely make a fist or grip anything. Also Cats got some sort of infected arm pit. We think its an ingrown hair.... Its butterz so i want nothing to do with it.

A load of us went out on Thursday for drinks down the local pub. 3 Italian boys we worked with were leaving the farm, and it got a bit messy. Everyone got drunk even though we had work at 6:30 the next day. Was good though. Got driven home by someone who was probably 40 times over the limit. But luckily theres not many things you can crash into in Lakeland.... So we survived again. Usually Fridays are half days and we finish at 12pm. But nearly everyone got sent home early coz they were drunk. Me and Cat however, had to stay on and finish our kerosening. FML....

ANYWAY... THATS ONE MONTH DONE!! It flew by! 2 more months and we're outta here with an extra year visa and some cash to spend. Cant wait to hit the east coast and blow my load.... and my money ;)

I remember my friend Shona telling me "Farm work will be the BEST AND WORST time you ever have in Australia"... I can confirm half of that statement is true blog fans... Just half...

So on that note - Stay sweet blogs fans. Pray for us, and please keep them shorts strapped and super tight!

Peace out Rabbiiiitttt...

Zoooooooopaaaaaaa....

We Are Farmers: Intro

Bloggy oggy wow, wicky icky wow wow!

Calling all civalized people! Farmer Bob is on the job! Im on a farm in the middle of NO WHERE right now. Its cray, like Andy Gray. But ive got an awesome idea to do 4 farming blogs, formatted as a week by week diary, just to give you an insight on this crazy life i be living. I think my last blog took you up to Adelaide. Seems a LONG time ago. But farming isnt handed to you on a silver plate with a christmas bow blog fans. So ill let you know how it went down.....

We needed farm work asap, to qualify for our 2nd year visa. We were aproaching our 9th month in Aus fast, and we needed to complete 3 months of farm work before one year was up. Our friends Shona, Gemma and Sara did their farm work in Tully. Its a good place to go as bananas grow there all year round, and they always need backpackers. So after ringing around various farms from all over the country we decided to go to Tully. To a workers accomodation called Hotel Tully. We got on a flight from Adelaide to Cairns, and when we arrived it was PISSING down! Aparently a cyclone was predicted and it felt like we were in it. We had to get a Greyhound bus from Cairns to Tully, and we waited under shelter. The bus driver arrived, then decided he needed a break, then came back.....over an HOUR later. We were gonna complain, but once we arrived in Tully we didnt care. We were warned Tully was tiny, and it def lived up to the hype. It had one supermarket, one main street, a couple charity shops, a couple hostels, and a big golden welly boot. The boot represented the fact Tully has the highest annual rain fall in Australia. And we were witnessing it first hand. We checked into our hostel and put our name on the waiting list for work. We were told that some people had been waiting a couple weeks for work, and we didnt have that long to wait. We had 2 weeks before our very latest starting date. SO, to cut a long story short - we asked about work at Banana Barracks (where our friends stayed). The woman there said there wasnt much on, I told her our friends recommended them to us, she took my name down, she got me a job the next day. I was pleased with this - (natually) so i went to get a load of clothes from a charity shop and some welly boots. Then i got more news from Paula (the woman at Banana Barracks) she said me AND Cat could get work, if we traveled to a place called Lakeland. Work for girls in Tully was even slower than the guys, so we took it. Paula warned us "If you think this is the middle of NO WHERE, you just wait..." So we made up our mind, and arranged our trip to Lakeland.

Before we left we were able to get a taste of Tully nightlife at the weekend. OMG shiz hit the fan blog fans. It went from a grandma's village to..... Magalauf. Was cray. Like Andy Gray. We went swimming in the local pool the next day to cure hangovers and got a bit upset we were leaving. But we knew we had to take this opporunity. We left later that day, in heavy rain (natually) The bus was late again, but this time coz some boom gate to the village didnt open. So a policeman escorted us to where the bus was. We went to Cairns and had one more evening with Nats who was starting her east coast trip from there. We had Chinese food... We love Chinese food, you know that its true. Plus a drink, then we said goodbye to Nats and got a few hours sleep before getting a little shuttle bus in the morning.

We arrived in Turalba Workers Accomodation... Middle of NO WHERE!! Its basically a load of caravan type cabins, set in a field. But its cool! Me and Cat got our own room with wardrobe. We share our cabin with another nice couple (a welsh guy and essex girl) and theres our own fridge and we have a tv. We have foxtel tv with a lot of channels, a good kitchen, mini gym, and everything else is cool. Better than a dorm and sharing 2 hobs in a kitchen with 60 others like Tully. But as we're in the middle of NO WHERE, we have a tuck shop that we buy our goods from. The owners drive to the nearest town (Cooktown), which is a hour away, stock up, then re-sell to us for a little more. Lakelands "town centre" consists of a petrol pump and a cafe.... Yeah....

We had no signal on our optus phones here. So we had to get a new one. It was Cats idea. Believe it or not, i liked the feeling of being in the middle of NO WHERE, and just being in the zone. I know if i get on to facebook or had enough data for youtubing, i would loose a lot of time and precious sleep. Plus i have nothing much to say or post on facebook. Maybe a status saying "saw a banana today" or instagram a picture of...... bananas?....

Anyway, work has started well enough. I was originally planning to write part of the blog along with our first week diary of working. But I think this blog is long enough isn't it blog fans.

So keep posted for that diary of our first month. Working in the middle of NOOO WHERRREEE!!!..

Until then, keep them shorts tiiiiight!!!

Zooooopa!!

GOR Road Trip!!

bloggy bloggy bloggy!!

OI!! OI!! OI!!

yo yo yo blog fans!! I'm about to bring you right up to date with our movements and situation. Let you know the 411 on this ting! In Adelaide right now. Sweating in our air-con dorm. I last wrote about our visit to Melbourne. We took a car from there to here on The Great Ocean Road. Amazing time. So I'll tell ya all about it!

The road trip started with a bang.... Literally. That was the sound of an old guy reversing his car into ours. Literally about 3hrs after picking the car up!! We didn't even hit our first camp site. We were about 3 seconds from the site, and I saw a car stopped in the middle of the road. I stopped - He reversed - I beeped - He kept reversing - I beeped - He banged into us. I kept beeping.... Was one of those "had to laugh" moments as we were just talking about bad luck with hire companies, car insurance, and all that other satanic shiz! The girls didn't see the funny side. But luckily me and Cat have plenty of experience in this situation. Anyway, we paid for the first camp site. Was a bit expensive. But the next day after stopping into some of the information sites, we got a list of cheap and free sites to stay on for our next few stops. The Great Ocean Road begun, and it was amazing. It's probably the best thing I've done in Australia so far. The views you got, the waterfalls, and the walks we did were beautiful. Camping was fun. We saw loads of wild life. Was just a really good experience. 

On one of our first stops: "Have you ever, ever felt like this...." YES! We saw the lighthouse from Around The Twist! That show was epic. Much better than Neighbours! Probs the best show to ever come out of Oz. Apart from Summer Heights High - naturally.

Calamity Nats pitched her tent on a nest of bull ants one night. She got bit on the foot. If you don't know Nats, she always injures her feet in some way. This makes it funny. Tradition. 

Most nights we stayed in dark free camp sites that looked like a rapist murderers dream. We drank goon, and cooked Kanga Bangas on disposable BBQs. The stars at night were amazing! So bright....... So tight...... One day after walking back from a BBQ in the evening, we were talking and a family of kangaroos hopped right past us. We just stood there in a shocked silenced. I'm pretty sure that was the first time we all saw wild (alive) kangaroos. We also saw our first wild Koalas on road. We stopped off at this recommended area, and we saw one, awake, eating, literally in touching distance by our heads. He didnt mind us. People were feeding him and touching him. Then 6,000 Asian tourists came off a bus with their cameras and it was game over. Super funky fresh though.

Towards the back end of the trip we stopped off at the "12 Apostles". These are like big rocks that stand out of the sea. They're like the "post card" image of the Great Ocean Road. They were really cool. Also, Loch Ard Gorge, and The Bay Of Islands were stop offs just after it. Had a beautiful beach, and great scenery from the cliffs you can walk around.

After the Great Ocean Road came to an end, we diverted up to The Grampians. Which is a national park made up of woods, mountains, and lots of wild life. It's kinda how you imagine Australia from back at home. Very dry and red, very Woof Creek. The Grampians are also my favourite thing ive done here, if you count it as a separate thing to the GOR. We hiked up to some really high cliff tops, and had awesome views. We also did a nature walk in the evening. Saw LOADS more kangaroos. And other animals. I got this sick photo of Natalie and Cat walking through a field, with a family of kangaroos hopping right past them. I'll be sure to put that on Facebook at some point. Other animals spotted includes: koalas, Lizards and Dragons, Snakes, Emu's, Seals, Penguins, Bats, Possums, Gidgee Stinks, Rabbits, Deer, Parrots, Echidna's and FLIES! Lots of bloody flies!! Arggh! We saw more or less every animal listed above in dead form too (mostly road kill) I'm pretty sure we saw a few dead Dingos. No alive ones though.

Eventually we arrived in Adelaide. We dropped off Silver Surfer (our car), to Thrifty and awaited the bad news. We basically had to pay the standard damage fee of $3466 - for a dented NUMBER PLATE..... Luckily we had insurance, but it was with an independent company, so we gotta wait for all the legal shiz, and the other driver might cover it, or I don't know. I just know I hate insurance and rental companies and they can all die in a fire....

We've only been in Adelaide a few days. And we're leaving now coz we've organised FARM WORK!! :D We're flying to Cairns to do 3 months in Tully to get our 2nd year visa and some cold hard cash! Natalie is going to Port Lincoln to do her shark dive. Then traveling down the east coast. Hopefully we'll see her in Cairns again on the weekend....... And then there was 2 I guess......

Whilst here though, we celebrated Australia Day. Saw Tim-O-Matic live (probably the campest rnb singer you'll ever see). Drank lots goon - naturally. Calamity Nats went to see a doctor about her ear. The doctor felt it was necessary to take her heart beat in her bra for it :p So he's been dubbed Andy McGrab. She loved it - naturally. We went to a museum, learned about the Red Titi and Hairy Saki monkies (amongst other cultural things) :p Smoked shisha, had dinner, and came home....

SO..... Next time you hear from me, I'll be in Queensland. 4th state within a month. Fingers crossed for the farm work. We'll let you know how that goes.

Until then....

  Keep your shorts tiiight!!

Zooooooooop!!! x

A Little Bit Of Melbourne

Well well well you cheeky little bloggers. Back for some more are ya??

I am currently writing this from the bottom of planet earth. Great Ocean Road, Victoria, Australia... In a tent, under 54 billion blistering stars. But if you've been keeping on the ball, you would know we visited Melbourne before we found ourselves here. So I'll just teeaaassseee you with the Great Ocean Road blog to come soon, and write about our time in good ol Melbs first.

Originally, when we booked our flight to Melbourne, we intended to stay at a hostel called The Pint On Punt. But our friends Rob and Nancy kindly offered to put us up for 5 days. Then we stayed at another friends, Brookers for the remaining 5. Cool beans right? Nancys and Robs place was a niiicee surprise. The building was very modern, and they had a nice little apartment. But the best thing was, they had a BBQ and seating area on their ROOF! Was amazing. Had great views and sunsets from up there. Could see all of St Kilda, the city, beach and the rollercoasters of Luna Park. So we BBQed there a lot -Naturally. We were also lucky enough to time our trip to bump into other friends like Diana, Jess, and Nick McEvoy in Melbs. We had another reunion with a Aussie friend we made in South America, called Andy. This is madness how this happened though. Andy basically saw through Facebook that I was coming to melbourne, and he told me he lived there, so we exchanged numbers. So when we arranged a day to meet he said "I'm free the next few days, where are you now?" I said I was on Brunswick St. "OK, well I'm in St Kilda at the moment. Maybe I'll see you in town later." I said ok, but we are staying in St Kilda any way. So maybe we'll meet him there. "where do you stay?" "Centre of St Kilda" "I live there too" "Where abouts? We're staying near the national theatre." "I live like 4 doors away from that dude" "No way! Have you heard of the so-and-so apartments" "yep.... I live there" ......Holy sweet potatoes blog fans!! can you imagine that!? We met on the boarder of Bolivia, and now he was sleeping one floor right above us every night. Fenton.

ANYWAY, we met up with Andy and everyone else too - naturally.......

But let's talk about the city! I LOVE Melbourne. I thought I would, and my predictions were confirmed. People always make the natural comparison to Sydney. Most people say they prefer Melbourne, and I see why. Sydney is a bit soulless compared to Melbourne. The people seemed more relaxed, friendly, social and cultured - So did the city. Melbourne kind of reminded me of some small areas in London I like, mixed with a small European city. Everyone says it, ut it is a great place for chilling in bars and cafes, live music, funky streets, shops, and parks. Apparently Melbourne was voted the best city in the world to live in 3 years in a row. And I think you just have to be thhere to see why..... Me, Cat, Nats, Rob, Nancy and Brooker all hired a bike and rode it down the beach front one day. That was one of many highlights. A few other things we done was penguin watching, outdoor cinema, night markets, drinking, and the Neighbours tour. I don't watch soaps. Barely watch tv period. But I went along like any good tourist should. I just smiled and took photos..... I fitted right in.

Some people say a downfall to Melbs is the weather. But we experienced some shit, let me tell you. Some people say "Oh it's cold and rainy in Melbourne." So we arrive, and it's 40+ degrees nearly every day for 10 days!! It was not fun riding packed trams in that, let me tell you! One day we decided to go to a swimming pool that was partly indoors, partly out. But even in the shade, the air was just HOT! Rob got sent home early from work every day for health and safety reasons. Ice lollies melted, baby's cried, and souls got raped to hell.

So..... That's my quick summary of our 10 days in Melbs. I cant write about EVERYTHING in detail. That was then, and this is now. But this was then, because im summitting this late. But now, will be then. When? Exactly....

But until then......

Keep them shorts tight.

Through the Window.

Zoop.

X

Leaving Sydney

Is it a bird!?

Is it a plane!?

......Well, yeah, it is a plane actually. Because we are at Sydney airport!

G'day blog fans. This is Robbie G6 reporting from Sydney airport, waiting for our flight to Melbourne. Turns out, we were kinda lucky to have a flight today. We got a text this morning saying "your flight has been cancelled". Not the best start. We got a bus to the airport anyway, and managed to get another flight. Just gotta wait AGES!!

Anyway, let's go back a bit. Last time I wrote, it was just before Christmas. Since then it's been an eventful, jam packed, bonza time we've been having. We visited our friend Felicity (who we met on our peru tour) twice. She's been the most amazing hospitable host. She cooked for us, we had pic-nics and bbqs, (kangaroo sausages and steaks) visited beaches, and kayaked down creeks. Was really nice to see her, and was really nice to get out the city for a while and do other things. We bought her some fine wine for her troubles, but we know she would much rather prefer a bottle of Passion Pop :)

Just before Christmas was upon us, we all took a day trip to Palm Beach (where Home & Away is filmed). Had a few drinks in the sun, with our Santa hats on, listening to Christmas songs :p Was a bit surreal, but so super smashing. Christmas eve we just got really drunk. We went to an Irish bar, took clothes pegs out and pegged people, and had a decent but strange night out - Christmas day we had bad weather. Rained more or less all day. But it was nice as we were hungover, and we all got to exchange presents, eat lots of food (Aussie Christmas style) and watch classic Christmas films.

A story that made everyone laugh, that I promised I'd write about - was when I almost crapped myself. I had diahhrea one night, conveniently when we had no toilet roll in the house..... (good start to any story) I ran to Cats room with my shorts down shouting "wheres the face wipes, where's the face wipes!" Cat was asleep and wouldn't wake up FOR SHIT! Literally!! I was bouncing her off the bed, punching her arse, shouting and screaming, and the only response i got was "I didnt take a photo" ..... "What!??" This really pissed me off. At the time, it was not funny, I promise you. Luckily, eventually, I found some novelty pound note tissues on the living room floor. But if I had to wait and scream any longer, I swear, I was gonna squat over Cats face!.....

On a lighter note.... NYE was nice! We went out in a big group of us. Nancy, Rob, and Brooker stayed at ours. We met a load of other friends up there. We went to a park, that was elevated on a hill, that over-looked the Opera House and Harbour Bridge. So we could all see the fireworks there. It was a bit crowded, but still cool. Cat actually got too drunk and went home before it even hit midnight. So.... karma?

The morning after, we got up and dragged ourselves out for the Field Day festival. My first ever proper outdoor festival surprisingly. Was really good! We had a lil playlist downloaded a while back, so we could recognise songs. Some of us were really hungover. But we soldiered through it. 

The last week we had was pretty lazy in general. Me, Cat and Calamity Nats did a 4hr walk around Manly. Had amazing views there, but the weather wasn't best. We went on our last night out in Sydney on Monday night. Drank all the Christmas vodka Natalie got me for Christmas. The best part was the kebab and chips I had. OMG. Haven't done that in over a YEAR. we went on a walk on the beach til about 5:30am. Fitting ending to our Sydney chapter. 

So... Cat, Calamity Nats and I are about to board the plane now. We've left behind our Bondi family and friends. But it's time to move on. By the time this is actually posted we're probably already living it up in Melbs. Voted the number ONE best place to live in the world apparently. Challenge accepted. This thing is number one!

Have a super smashing time blog fans! Keep your shorts tight.... So tight. And if I don't see you through the week, I'll see you trough the windoooww....

Zoooooooooooopa! x