All Good Things....

Boring boring blogs... Big bloody boring blissless blogs! -_- Who caarreeesss!! Booo!! I’m oooovveeerrr it Robbie G!! Another pooy blooog!? Why do this to my soul!? :( Well, luckily for you blog fans... it’s the last one EEEVVVVVVVEEEEEEERRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:O :O :O :O :O

We last left you in Agra, which is where we saw the Taj Mahal... The Taj was pretty amazing... Annndd... Thats all you need to know about it! Phsst... MOVE ON! Get a book and Google images, JEEEZ!!... We didn’t have much time in Agra, so we quickly saw the Agra Fort, before rushing off to the train station. This was the first time we caught a train in India, and as it’s India, it was obviously pretty mental. We arrived to drumming, singing, people walking across the tracks, cows, monkeys, and some people even SHOWERING on the tracks! Wtf?... But yeah, that actually happened... Our next stop was a small little village town, named Orchha. On the first day, we had a little bike ride in the wildlife sanctuary, but it was bloody HOT! Like, “kill me now” hot... We managed to see lots of deer and monkeys through our sweat stained eyeballs... Luckily for Cat, she fell off a rock into the river on one of our stop offs. I would of usually laughed and taken the piss, but I was actually feeling rather jealous at that point :/ In the evening we had an Indian cooking class. The host was really nice, and we learnt how to make a couple dishes... The food was great, but later that day I wasn’t feeling too good... Kinda brushed it off though... Having diarrhoea for me, is as common as brushing my teeth in the morning lol. So we went on a local temple sightseeing day trip... Usual stuff... We did see one palace that was built over a 8 year period, looked really good, carvings, architecture, etc all grand and awesome.... And It was used for one night... Seriously... For one king, on one night... Then abandoned... What’s wrong with people? lol... Came back after that to have an afternoon rest... Then... Oh my goodness... My stomach was playing up again... But this time it was different blog fans... I waited around a bit after the first anal exodus, and then it started coming out the other end... I chundered EVERYWAHHH lol.... Not nice, puking when sober... I’m not used to it... But I was really sick. My temperature was sky high, and my body felt as frail as a poppadom...  I was wondering if it was from the cooking, but I think it was more likely from that “kill me now” heat I was talking about... But luckily I had plenty time to rest that evening, and I recovered for the next day... Which was a good thing! Because that day, was........

CATS BIRTHDAY!!! :D We were staying in Orchha for one more night, but we checked ourselves into a faaaancy hotel in the outskirts. Repaid Cat for the faaancy hotel I had for my bday in Thailand :) Anyway, we checked in, and it was really really nice. The staff were so polite and proper, it was almost intimidating... The hotel had a big garden area, bang in the middle of it. And this is where we get an even BETTER slice of luck... The managers nephew was having a birthday party, on that EXACT SAME DAY! :D So all these tables were being set up, a buffet area, DJ, dance floor... So our timing was impeccable ;) We didn’t wanna spend the whole day in the hotel hanging around, so we decided to see the local Orchha palace. It was good, we walked around, taking it easy... But then... There was another twist in the story blog fans... Brace yourselves... We were walking around a certain area, minding our own business, without any challenges or conflicts in our lives... Cat was walking in front of me, as she stepped off this small step rather sheepishly. I thought to myself “Jeez, cautious Cat or what!...” Then I hopped off with great confidence and poise... And then... F@#%... My foot must of landed on the circular rock, rolled on all my weight, and I totally F%#@ed my ankle lol... Dropped to the ground like a sack of potatoes... For about a second, I thought “Shit... Its broken, call the hospital”. But then I realised it was most likely just a really bad sprain... Which it was... I had a moment on my arse, half laughing to Cat saying “It’s really bad”. But I managed to get up not long after, and walk around the rest of the palace... I was fine... Up and down the stairs... Just very slowly, and with a major pimp limp.... We got back to the hotel, showered, and rested a bit before the PAAARTAYY... We sat on the bed for about an hour or two, reminiscing on photos and videos of our past travels... Then I got up to go toilet... But as I hopped off the bed, and started walking... “Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitt.........” My ankle started to KILL! Proper agony!... I called the fancy reception, on our fancy bedroom phone, and someone brought down some ice for it in a fancy bucket... So I iced it up, got changed, and started to head out to the gardens for the buffets... It looked awesome out there. They had green and purple lights, lighting up the grounds, tables set out, waiters serving people, live singing, couldn’t of timed Cats birthday on a better day... Cat walked out towards the buffet to find a table, and I hopped... My foot literally couldn’t make contact with the ground... This obviously caught the attention of some staff, and before I knew it, I was getting a foot massage, and a wheelchair rolled towards me :D I gotta say, I luurrve being spoilt on Cats bday ;) Haha... She did get a bit annoyed by the fuss people were making over me, but she couldn’t complain... We had waiters serving us food, we got beers and a bottle of wine, and she even got fireworks and a chorus of “happy birthday” sung out for her :p Well... It was for the managers nephew, but we could pretend... Turned out, all this fuss was actually made for a ONE YEAR OLD BABY! Who would never appreciate it! So the party might as well of been thrown for Cat in the first place!

The next day, we got a car to a town called Khajuraho. It’s a place made famous for its temples with exotic, karma sutra style carvings. Problem was, I still couldn’t walk... Not even stand... So I asked the hotel if they knew where I could get crutches. But they had another suggestion blog fans... They placed me on a motorbike, and drove me off... We came to a small village, and the bike driver sat me down outside, under a tree, in front of the village homes... I sat on the wall, and the driver called out some old man... They told me this guy knew some sort of ancient Indian therapy, and by the next day, I would be able to walk... I was sceptical... I couldn’t even put my foot down at this point... But Cat and I didn’t have time for me to be crippled, so I gave it a go... So I sat on this wall, the guy comes out, and then several of the local kids came to sit next to me... As the old man sat my foot on his lap, the guy who gave me a lift on his bike said “This is going to hurt, a lot”... And it bloody DID blog fans!! He seemed to know what he was doing, touching my foot, rubbing it, massaging it... But then, he went mad, and started twisting it, yanking, and basically trying to rip my foot from its bloody ankle! I had my t-shirt in my mouth, in agony, half nervously laughing, half on the verge of crying... The kids next to me were LOVING IT! Every time I yelped and screamed... They laughed... They were only between 2 and 8... I was like “you next?” They just shook their head and smiled... I payed the old man for trying to break every bone in my ankle, and hopped on the bike back to the hotel. The guy who took me translated that I needed a massage tonight, with hot goats milk, and salt :/ oookkk.... I mean, I had some special injury cream from the clinic, but obviously that wasn’t gonna cut it... I needed goats milk... Unfortunately the hotel restaurant only stored buffalos milk, so they had to wander out to find goats milk for me whilst I rested.... What’s my life coming too? :/ lol.

I wake up the next morning, after a night of resting and goats milk massages... And lo’ and behold, I could stand! :o I wasn’t exactly a spring chicken, but I was able to walk to the toilet, and wee with two feet on the ground... The things we take for granted ay... SO, we got our day of sightseeing... More temples! :D Our schedule was running pretty tight, so we just had the one full day in Khajuraho. The temples were nice. We saw beautiful carvings of women with massive round breasts, some performing oral sex, and some gentlemen bumming horses... It was romantic :) After a couple hours sightseeing... fending off eager touts, and barbaric heat... We went back to the hotel. We had a train to catch later that day to our next destination...

Varanasi... Was very excited to be here, as Varanasi is considered to be one of the most holy cities in India, and possibly the world. We came off the night train needing a rest, plus the afternoon temperature was torture, so we waited until the early evening to explore. When we hit the town, our first stop was a famous lassie shop named “Blue Lassie”, which was situated within a crazy labyrinth of small alleyways. As it was recommended in the Lonely Planet, we got the rare opportunity to actually chill out and speak to the other travellers who have read about it. We met an Aussie girl, and an American guy, who were both equally cool. After our drinks, Me, Cat and David (The American) walked down to the ghats to see the daily 7pm ceremony. It was pretty awesome and special. We heard the prayers, and got a bindy painted on our heads by a little boy. I was also lucky enough to get some ash land on my face... probably from the cremated burning bodies not far away from us :) That worked up our appetite, so we headed off to a rooftop restaurant to eat. We had to be awake early for a boat ride the next morning, so we headed home at a reasonable time. As we’re white, ricksaw drivers literally throw themselves at you... We actually saw one man, jump off his ricksaw to grab Cats arm, EVEN THOUGH two local Indian women were standing there, ready to give him business. He stuck his palm in their face, just to get the opportunity to rip off the stupid white tourists. How low is that? Cat and I were like “NO! You have customers!” He was just like “No, no, no!” Arsehole... Anyway, the next guy who approached said he could take us, and I politely turned him down. He had a cycle ricksaw, and our place was too far out.

He was like “No, no, twenty minutes”.

I said “To here!?” (showing him our hotel key) “How much?”

“150”.... “You sure? 20 minutes? 150 rupees?”

“....yes”

“OK”.... So we went...

You can guess what happened next blog fans... 20 mins later... We get to some weird random hotel we’ve never seen before... “Here... Your hotel”... “Errrmmm no...” The name wasn’t even similar! We told him to forget it, and we’ll get an auto-ricksaw, but he insisted... Got new directions, and set off again... 45 minutes later... “Here you go”... “NO!!” lol... We half felt sorry for the poor old bastard peddling us. But he shouldn’t of lied to us, just to get his foot in the door for business... We were getting tired, and Cat was getting pissed off... We had like 4hrs before we had to get up for the sunrise boat trip in the morning... Luckily the 2^nd guess wasn’t too far from ours, and we eventually got in... Cat gave him a good telling off and finger wagging, and I paid him 50 rupees extra for his hard work ;)

ANYWAY... The next morning we woke up super early, for the boat cruise down the Ganges... We felt tired as hell... The boat set off from the same spot we saw the ceremony from yesterday, and we were able to see the sun come up... We also saw people meditating, and bathing in the river. Even though Cat read that some parts of the Ganges had more bacteria than an actual piece of poo.. watching this was a really nice moment... We had another afternoon rest, before heading out again. This time, to the burning ghats. We walked around the alleys for about an hour trying to find it. Cat and I got offered to go up to a rooftop, where we could look down on family members cremating dead relatives on bonfires... Sounds like a pretty morbid thing to watch, but it didn’t feel that way at the time. The guy explained how only male family members could be there, as female tears could stop their souls reaching nirvana. The men got cremated in white, whilst women were wrapped up in red. The bodies are burnt until their last remaining bone (pelvis for women, sternum for men) They get taken out the fire, and tossed into the river... I personally found it quite nice and comforting... We went for our final meal in Varanasi with David (the American), before heading off to our epic voyage to the north...

Manali... After a 14hr sleeper train to Delhi, we had a break for lunch and shower at our Delhi hotel. Couldn’t get too comfortable though blog fans... We then jumped on a 16hr bus ride to Manali the same day. I spoke to a couple local people about going to Manali, and a lot of them mentioned the state of the roads going there. Saying they’re dangerous... I thought to myself... “If an Indian guy is telling me a road is dangerous... This one must be f%#*ed” lol... And oh what a ride we were in for blog fans... By the time it got to 1am, and I was ready to stop listening to music, and go asleep... The bus was bouncing around like a rubber ball... The road was going through MAJOR road works, and not only that, it was pretty much pitch black, and on the edge of some major cliffs. The driver didn’t seem too cautious about it, driving at 80mph. But needless to say, looking out the passenger window down a 5000 foot drop, didn’t exactly help me sleep easily... Anyway, we survived, and made it to Manali :) On our first day we had a village trek. My ankle still wasn’t 100%, but I got through it all OK. The scenery was REALLY really nice, and nothing like any of the previous Indian landscapes we had seen. Felt like we were in Peru again. Or up in the Scandinavian mountains or something. Snow settled on the mountain tops, rivers had crystal blue waters running through it, whether was not so “kill me now”... Game changer! Even the people were completely different from the rest of India. Had a very different style of traditional clothing, women were out more, whiter skin, more relaxed... I was like “You sure we’re still in India?” lol. Anyway, we got back from the walk, and Cat fell straight asleep. We were meant to meet a Spanish girl for dinner that day, but Cat was KO’ed. We didn’t sleep well on that bus as I said... Unfortunately, there was no time for lazy mornings though. The next morning was a day of mountain biking. It was HARD! We cycled 14km ALL uphill on the way there. I felt I had to turn back at one point. Don’t know if it’s because of the altitude, or the fact that im now a fat podgy lazy slob... but I wasn’t feeling good. I carried on regardless. Even Cat said it was too difficult, and she LOVES this kinda shiz! Again, we saw some really amazing views. All the snowy tops of the Himalaya’s, grassy hills, blue rivers... Same Same, but different... Then we had our third day in Manali. And what a way to finish it off... A paraglide! We heard from some people that the paragliding had been shut down. There was a death last year, its not illegal, blah blah... Somehow though, we were giving the opportunity to put our lives at risk again. We hiked up a massive hill AGAIN, with about 20 Israeli tourists, to the paragliding spot. Cat and I were able to go within the first five flights, as we had a bus that day... I went before Cat, and for some reason, it didn’t go too smoothly lol... As I was strapped in, the guy suddenly turned to me and goes “run, run, run!” And then... “NO! STOP!”... Then there was a big fuss, because we almost died... I was like “Wait a minute, you haven’t given me ANY instructions or briefings on this... Whats going on?”lol... “How did the last guy die??” :/ Eventually I took off OK, Cat was 2 goes behind me, and we both survived... Just...

Then it was back to Delhi. LAST STOP! OMG BLOG FANS!!... We have some time here to sightsee one more time. Maybe buy a souvenir or two, repack, and compose ourselves... For our next stop... ENGLAND!! Wow.... It’s been a long time coming blog fans... I remember the first time writing my blog in Mexico, back in Nov 2012... I basically couldn’t be bothered with phone calls, or long Facebook statuses. The breaking blog news went from a half-arsed paragraph now n then, to this... The greatest thing online since free porn :p Haha... I’d like to say a quick thank you to Catherine Himer (she’s the “Cat” part of RobCat Travel – who knew! :p ) Shes been a greatest travel companion a man could wish for... For most of it haha... But seriously, I don’t think I could of found someone with an equal enthusiasm, and determination to do a trip this long with. I remember talking about leaving England to see the world, WAY back when we first ever met. We both had that passion before we dated. We got together, worked hard, saved money, and we made it happen. So even though it hasn’t ALL been fairytales – I’d like to thank her, for helping me along the way, and helping achieve many lifelong goals all in one epic trip..... Id also like to thank YOU! The BLOG FANS! :D As I said, this whole RobCat Travel thing started off very personal, and basic... Now, because of you, I try to write something interesting, and entertaining... So that not only are our parents don’t get bored of reading it, but ANYONE can enjoy! Cat’s consistently promoted it, and saying to new friends “Oh, check Robs blog... Its really good”... Lol, I usually get embarrassed... Like, I’ve known this person one day, and now they’re gonna read about my bowel movements :/ Ooookkkk.... But, I appreciate Cats faith in it, and everyone’s efforts to read on...

So.... Its that time.... Last ever blog time :( To be honest, I MIIIIIIGGHHTTT write something again... A collection of thoughts... A summary of our travels... Maybe a Q&A thing... Not sure... Let’s be honest, we have a new mission now... We’re not stepping into old jobs. Things have changed... We left everything behind in London, and have to start again from scratch... FRESSSHHHH... So coming back to England might be the BIGGEST ADVENTURE OF ALL!!! :-O

SO ON THAT NOTE BLOG FANS!!!

KEEEEP YOUR SHORTTTSSS TIIIIIIIIIGHHHTTT!!!

BECAUSE THERE MIGHT, ACTUALLY BE, MORE.....

BREAKING BLOG NEEEEWWWWWSSSSSS IN THE FUTURE!!!!!!!!!!

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(see you soon) x